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  • #18930 Report


    I agree with Kathy!


    I am in a very similar situation, my ex partner has limited communication and picks and chooses if he replies to my emails. (All very minimal requests of our son, never anything emotional or personal).

    It’s so difficult as all you want is for them to have the understanding and knowledge about your childs emotional needs when they almost don’t really think it’s important. Kathy hit the nail on the head, think about what is best for your kids and it sounds like you’re doing all you can to improve communication, when clearly he doesn’t want to, and knows he doesn’t have to! Set your own boundaries for contact. You are in your rights to do this as their mother who is the primary carer. You are meeting your childrens needs and doing a great job. Unfortunately you can’t make someone communicate, (had to learn this myself and its stressful!)

    Evaluate what will make your kids happy and healthy, set boundaries for days he can see them on your terms. It is not unreasonable! If he doesn’t then stop contact until he will communicate with you properly and show that he going to support his childrens emotional needs. Sounds like you’ve exhausted all avenues and been very patient so well done!

    C x

    #18061 Report



    Thanks for your reply. My son will be going to school in september yes, however, I’ve been pretty organised and applied already for his place. I have changed my childcare voucher to a higher amount to save a bit more money each month and also given my ex an ultimatum in regards to him paying for the childcare costs when I do not have my son. I am giving him a months notice that I will be reducing his days to 4 days a week instead of five.

    I have also found that if I move somewhere slightly smaller it will cut costs..

    Fortunately, my work is amazing and looking to be fairly flexible when it comes around next year in September. I am hoping to cut my hours to part time, its so twisted that I would get more financial support if I work less, its so frustrating!! I love my job. But that way I would atleast save on breakfast clubs etc. It’s such a shame that the most stressful thing about being a single parent, is about money for me. My partner was very controlling with money, so I am used to this sort of behavior. I am going to contact CSA to get advice about this and see what I can do if he does refuse to pay.

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