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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)
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  • #25966 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hey

    I’m a single dad and know exactly how you feel – its a real struggle going from being with someone all the time to being on your own.

    I don’t have loads of friends but even thats not the same.

     

    #23971 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    yep I have the Meetup app I just thought you guys might have met up or something?

    i work in London so might join one if them.

    there are a couple of groups for separation as well

    #23967 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    GirlFriday what Meetup events?

    #23910

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hey if you have done more child care etc for 4 years and are being the responsible parent I would get as much proof of this as possible as it will only help you.

    check out the families need fathers website and the father for justice Facebook group a well.

    Families  need fathers have groups you can. Go to to get advice for free

    #23604 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Good comments and i know your right – i actually spoke to Mind today as i self referred myself.

    I wish finding a group of supportive friends was easier lol

    #23583 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    I have no idea how you adjust to being single as my wife left Jan 4th 2019 – i really struggle being on my own and am going to doctors as i need help.

    The problem for me is that its a struggle to get out of bed so i assume i’m basically depressed/ grieving.

    I don’t have many friends so seem to date a bit but i know that is meaningless and just papering over the loneliness.

    Its been over 4 months for me but i just cant see myself feeling better??

    #23580 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    My wife left me in January and i just cant get over it – i am devastated as well although i don’t believe she has dated yet.

    I have slept with 2 women since we split but its meaningless and doesn’t really help although i continue to go on dates as it feels the time.

    I find it hard being on my own now – it sounds terrible that i am doing that and i feel i need help so am going to see my doctor and get counselling.

    I just can’t see a day that is worth looking forward to and i have 2 young children so its hard to feel like that.

    I assume she grieved for the relationship last year although she has told me she is finding it hard just like me.

    Don’t know why i have typed the above other than to vent but i feel everyday is difficult.

    I would love a support group in South Essex but they just don’t exist.

    #20262 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    if she took a second mortgage out to stay in the current house she wouldn’t be able to afford to pay it and therefore I wouldn’t be able to have a lump sum of money for my own place (which would house the kids half the month)!

    if we both moved they would then have two settled family homes instead of one?

    i can’t see her refusing to move benefits the kids or myself…I feel she just wants to stay in the better current house.

    any comments would be appreciated

    #20243 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi Anonymous

    if she buys me out she has to get a second mortgage that I would then have to pay!

    So I would get a lump sum but will have to pay £300 more towards her spousal maintenance!

    Im not sure it’s right that’s all…she can’t demand she stays there so it’s basically impossible for me to get my own mortgage?

    Surely if we both move to cheaper houses that we can both get a mortgage on the courts for example would prefer that?

    thanks

    #19944 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Thanks wanderer I’ll check that out

    #19772 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi IRMoore

    I feel exactly the same and also wonder who would want to date a 35 year old guy with two kids :-(.

    i think this will probably be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to go through

    feel free to DM me if you want to go through this together?

    #19687 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi Louise

    Thought i would post on here as i am a guy that’s going through a rough time as my wife has left me recently.

    I am not in your particular situation but one thing i can say is that talking on this forum is helping me slightly so would recommend you keep doing this.

    Where we are similar is that i don’t feel like i have many friends to talk to as they were all of our couple friends so i am finding that hard as well, (i feel very alone)

    I actually think you did a good thing getting pregnant because think of the love and joy you will give your baby – i have told an old friend (who wants a baby but time is running out) that she should do something similar.

    Even though i am a father of 2 you don’t need a man to help you bring up your child – (its easier with help sure).

    Not sure why i posted here really but hopefully my comments have helped in some way.

    Congrats and good luck – i will never forget the feeling i had when my 1st child was born.

    #19484 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    i don’t live near you but have you tried https://www.meetup.com

    they have an app that’s good as well. There  is probably a met up group near where you live?

     

    #19456 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi

    It would be really helpful to meet up – hopefully we can get a few people, did you get my PM as i am not sure it went through?

    Thanks

    #19339 Report

    Alan1
    Participant

    Hi, appreciate the reply, maybe I’ll go to my GP as they may know a group or something?

    If anyone else reads this and is in London or Essex I would love to meet up as it would really help

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)