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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #37421 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Hi making friends can be hard where are you I’m in waltham abbey ?
    I have a 7 year old daughter who lives with me full time.

    #37420 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Hi I’m a single dad in waltham abbey with my 7 year old daughter , I am part of the enfield group,

    Hows life ?

    We have get togethers at local events, sometimes tickets for theatre in london come up.

    We also try to organise holidays together, I am part of 4 planning an easter caravan break in essex somewhere, we are looking to make 6 or more, if you’re interested ?

    #37419 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    The resorts we were looking at both have indoor heated pools, and not far from the beech.

    there are coastal town activities like a pier and amusements.

    #29586 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    For anyone who has the kids is out the family home, and had no money, there is a free service they can help you get a non molestation order and occupation order, it is possible.

    0800 970 2070

    Family court is there to help, you don’t need a solicitor or barrister

    #12115 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Here’s the Child Maintenance Calculator and Helpline <span style=”color: #0b0c0c; font-family: nta, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19px;”> 0800 171 2033</span>
    https://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/calculator.asp

    and the tax credits helpline number is <span style=”color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 32px;”>0345 300 3900</span>
    and website https://www.gov.uk/child-tax-credit/new-claim
    you may be in a universal tax credit area, you can find out on the above link.

    you can talk to them first they are friendly and want to help,  say you want to make an application, make a list of all details you need, then get together before going online.

    #12075 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Hi I often think how my now 6 year old daughter will cope in her adult life, blaming me for the breakup, feeling insecure that could lead to bad situations…  I often think what helps is doing things together one on one, I know my daughter is 6 and I can’t speak from experience with teenagers but I was one and I remember when I was moody or communicative.  The real times came when there was connection with my parent or relative, this happens when you do things together, so take him out of school for the day, its therapy or whatever you want to label it as to the school, do something special, amusement park, go karting, air kicks , I don’t know let them choose it or make it a surprise.  I don’t know if this helps but it might give you some inspiration for your own solutions, good luck.

    #12073 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Hi stress, anxiety, sleeplessness I’m sure alot of people can say some of this is part of the challenge of separation.  Health Issues as well can come up too, I found a number of things have helped, for sure social interaction, friends and change of environment really help everyone who’s at home alone with their problems and children who are too young to really talk about things.   I found cutting out tea and coffee was a big help, yes mega tired for a while, that helped me sleep more, then waking up in the middle of the night was a problem. My solution is chamomile tea before sleep, and Valerian root Holland and Barrett do capsules.  I also cut out as much sweets as I can manage as this seemed to cause anxiety when blood sugar peaked and dropped, walking during the day also helps.  It would be great to hear other peoples strategies that helped. I wish you well

    #12072 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    books on cbt might be really helpful teach yourself, of course all the above is really good advice, therapy can be very effective if you find the right doctor.

    #12071 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Having been in a controlling relationship for 10 years I got out, after she got abusive, to both my daughter and I quite an extreme example to compare to yours maybe, we did go to therapy it didn’t change things for very long. I asked for more therapy about 1 year after the last, then a year later things got intolerable.  Communication only works when honest feelings go both ways I found she wouldn’t admit her controlling behaviour, didn’t do some of the changes that were promised, this ultimately led to me doing way too much in the relationship, that in the end I was and am far better on my own looking after my daughter.

    Take stock of all the good and balance with the bad.  Its also worth imagining how your life would be different, there will be challenges to being single, finances will be difficult, time will be short, but you will have peace, and at some point make new friends, partner and life moves on.

    I should add my daughter is so much happier in general, better at school, calmer, better routine and I know it was the right decision for me, all the best to you.

    #12070 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Has any one been to a gingerbread group or started one, it would be a good thing to get involved in, I’m in Essex, Waltham Abbey., I hear there is one in Romford and waltham forest and enfield this would be a good place to start make new friends.  Anyone for an informal BBQ garden party kids are welcome ?

    #12069 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    sorry to hear about your seperation, I’ve been apart about 1 year now, I had to take my daughter who is 6 now, away from home because my wife was being abusive, I put up with it toward me, then she hit our daughter in the face for not sitting on a chair properly, along with other things it was the last straw.
    I don’t have family close by that can help so that’s a challenge for me. My ex controlled all my activities and that means I don’t have many friends close by either, so I’m on here to connect with people and share stories and future goals, dreams.

    Has any one been to a gingerbread group or started one, it would be a good thing to get involved in, I’m in Essex, Waltham Abbey.

    I found sharing with parents at school helped, some offered to look after my daughter sometimes. Making new friends with hardly any time on your hands is difficult.

    #12068 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Hi Brentwood is not far from me, I’m interested to, it would be nice to meet and talk with other single parents, make new friends etc…

    I found this brentwood group we can contact the person who started it and find out more ? I said hello already

    #12067 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    steps I would take.

    Child Maintenance if he has income and can contribute,

    Claim Benefits, tax credits, child etc…

    get a part time job, something you enjoy because of social aspect it will give your mind something to do, while your heart is healing.

    do you have debts ? do you need to drive for school ? how close are you to shops etc…

    do you have friends to socialise with, this is what I’ve been missing out on, so that’s while I’m here on the forum.

     

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)