Posted 18 April 2019
Rachel is a single parent to her three year-old daughter, Faith. She was first signposted to Gingerbread while pregnant and has used many of our services ever since. Here, she writes about her amazing journey...
Posted 29 January 2019
Lidia is an inspired, passionate, proud single mother who was born and bred in South Africa and now lives in the UK. She is a mother to an amazing teenage daughter, who is one of Lidia’s inspirations in life and her WHY.
Lidia is a qualified Level 3 personal trainer, nutritional advisor, life coach, and inspirational blogger.
In this piece, she reflects on her past achievements and looks ahead to her approach to future goals.
As a single parent, it’s not often easy to sit down and reflect on our own achievements in life. We don’t always have the time or we seem to be wrapped up in our children as they are mostly all we think about. Writing this piece has once again given me the opportunity to take time out to reflect and think about where I am in life and what I have achieved as a single parent. This is a brilliant way to give ourselves the credit and a pat on the back, to say “well done”, as we don’t give ourselves enough credit and praise as single parents.
While I was reflecting on my proudest achievements, I had many “wow” moments, almost as if it was hard to believe I have done some amazing things in my life. As a single parent, the stigma in society is often quite negative. We are seen as poor, suffering, weak, different, odd humans in the world. Sometimes this belief that society has about single parents can influence the way we think about ourselves, leading us to end up with a negative self-belief. I know this was my case for sure.
I know believe in myself no matter what anyone, society or the world says or thinks.
I am sure you are very eager to find out what my proudest achievement was! It was huge and amazing but it was also the hardest thing I have ever done on my own. I always wanted to give my daughter and I a better life and more opportunities as living in South Africa was challenging and opportunities for young people were limited. My daughter and I packed up and moved across the world to the United Kingdom. It was a very exciting and brave move but also the hardest thing I have ever done. Sadly she had to leave her dad and grandparents and I had to leave many friends behind. This was almost eight years ago. At the time it was really tough, we cried a lot and had many sad days and even a few years after, I used to ask myself if I made the right choice. Today I can proudly say I know it was the right choice and one of the biggest and my most proud achievement as a single parent. Moving to a new country, not knowing many people and adapting not only to the weather but a whole new culture is not easy but I did it. I am very proud of myself and even more proud of my daughter for doing this with me.
I have achieved many things in life, some small, some big, some that haven’t always gone according to plan. I have learned to always be proud of what I do achieve, it’s not always easy as sometimes it doesn’t feel like a big achievement or it can feel like just another daily task. However, making time to reflect daily on your achievements, both small and big, is important, and will remind you of how amazing you are as a single parent.
I know that when we believe in ourselves and our dreams, it can be easier to achieve them. If we were to set out a goal in our lives but had no self-belief or we honestly did not believe that achieving it would be possible then it probably won’t be. Not to be negative but I think believing that you can achieve your dream from the start will help you do so. The passion also makes working towards your goals more fun!
My biggest and proudest achievement of moving over to the UK as a single parent was hard but my entire heart and very being believed in it and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it would be possible. Challenge yourselves as a single parent, switch on your self-belief and remember believing is achieving.
Achievements are goals, dreams, plans, desires, tasks, etc. that we have made come true in our lives. I have many more achievements yet to come as I know that the goals and dreams I have set for myself will come true with hard work and commitment, and I will then be able to celebrate and be proud of these achievements again.
It is almost like a cycle, you set goals and you achieve them and then reflect and celebrate and be proud. This is an amazing feeling that you get inside when you achieve them no matter what they are. It makes us feel good as a single parent to be able to say ‘wow I achieved this’.
I encourage you to set some more goals, dreams, plans, and tasks. Even if it means baking a cake or playing with your children more. Celebrate achieving these goals because as single parents we deserve to be celebrated every minute of every day. I am sure your children and family would agree as being a single parent is a huge achievement on its own.