Young Dad with 2 year old.

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  • #41628 Report

    MrYoungDadMK
    Participant

    Hello all! Don’t know where to start. The mother to my child and love of my life (or so I thought) has decided she no longer wants to be with me and go live her life. We had a great relationship but we had a bad patch last year and haven’t recovered since. I tried everything but due to this COVID I lost my job and have been at home since January and she feels like she’s been holding me up for too long. I’ve been depressed for a while but always buried it until now which I’m dealing with. We are coming to an agreement for me to have little baby but I was just wondering If that would work in my favour for taking over benefits and such? She will be starting nursery next year so until then I probably would not be working to raise her. She is the light in my tunnel. Any advise would be appreciated🤙🏻

    #41640 Report

    yeahitsmilo
    Participant

    Hey. I’ve been in a pretty similar situation to you actually. The mother of my two children left just over a year ago now. She had been through a very difficult period and our relationship just broke down in the end and she decided to take this fantastic job opportunity abroad. It’s been tough obviously, so I totally get where you’re coming from.

    I’ve been in sole custody of our two girls since she left. They were only 3 and 1 at the time so it was a big adjustment for me (although I was already pretty hands on with them). If you’re feeling depressed it’s really important to try and reach out to friends and family if possible. I know that easier said than done even at the best of times, but during this pandemic it’s been extra tough. But it’s important you let people know how you are feeling so you can build some sort of support network if you can. I’m very lucky as my family (and especially my older sister) have been able to help a lot with the girls, which means I’ve been able to work still up until the lockdown happened.

    Regarding benefits and financial support there is a lot out there. It definitely sounds like you should be eligible for some form of Universal Credit though. The Gingerbread advice line is actually really good in that regard. I phoned them up when I furst became a single dad a year ago now and they were a big help. If you have any specific questions though I will try and help.

    Do let me know if you have any other questions about anything. If I can help I’ll try!

    #41659 Report

    Hi your situation sounds like my situation my youngest was 2 also when I got given my sons and eldest son was 4 and about to start primary school in September I had to change schools for him and find a place for my youngest at nursery it was hard as I was living with my parents after my relationship broke down but once I got my sons We moved into our own place but as you said our children are our light I was lucky with my work they changed my shift working 9:30am-2pm weekends off so I could drop off my sons and pick up as well there is a lot of help out there with financial support

    but as I said I been lucky with work and my family are close by and help me out but definitely a good support network is vital and I wouldn’t changed it for world

    But any questions here to help buddy

    #41660 Report

    MrYoungDadMK
    Participant

    Thanks for the reply’s guys it’s nice to know someone actually listens😅 it’s going to take a lot of adjusting but I’m still young and will push through! Its early days so I’m still a bit raw to the pain also while dealing with the blues. Do you think the depression would go against me in the case of having custody of the child? Will I be under watch? I’m perfectly capable of caring for her I’ve done most of it since she was born and I’ve self refereed myself for some therapy through TalkToChange.
    i promised myself I wouldn’t let my family break up as my parents separated when I was younger and I know how it can effect you so that’s the biggest killer to myself.
    It’s not as if I hate the mother I just hate how she’s handled the situation, she’s still my world. But is there any point in trying to hold on? Or is it “if you love something let it go”

    sorry for the rant and I appreciate your help

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