Wow

This topic contains 22 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  PeterD 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 23 total)
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  • #25839 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi All

    Well didn’t expect this.

    So one of my kids said they miss mammy.

    What happened next I don’t understand

    I completely broke down. That’s the first time the kids have seen me cry. That in turn set them off all four of us blubbering.

    What I can’t grasp is for all she has done to us as a family for the first time I’m feel scared and the hurt is overwhelming.

    WHY

    😢😢😢😢😢

    P

    #25840 Report

    SoccerDad
    Participant

    Peter

    This is natural buddy, we see or hear things that act as triggers. I’ve steered clear of Facebook until recently to avoid seeing lots of lovey dovey couples, but I’m starting to go back on there now.

    You’re there for your kids, and that’s the most important thing – you’re a great Dad, your kids know the effort you’re putting in and they’ll remember this in the future. Your time will come when you feel ready to get back on the bike, and you’ll have someone who you’ll be with, and all of this will be a mere memory.

    SD

    #25843 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi SD

    Thanks 👍👍👍

    P

     

    #25851 Report

    MummytoA
    Participant

    I want to say something to help or soothe you but can’t find the words. I’ve cried in front of my baby too, many times now. The tears are always standing in my eyes, I lose control. It’s all part of the journey Peter, we’ll get there. For now maybe even this experience will help you all in some way, grief shared becomes grief halved. Don’t be hard on yourself.

    #25852 Report

    SoccerDad
    Participant

    No problem, just hang in there – you’ve got this!

    #25855 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi MummytoA

    Thank you for your kind words they really help 😊

    It’s just that I’ve always been the rock even  when we were a strong family. I just feel lousy that my kids have seen  me  cry especially my daughter who is almost 16.

    Its a bloody horrible feeling

    P

     

     

    #25857 Report

    MummytoA
    Participant

    It is a horrible feeling, but look at the positives. You’ve got it out of yourself, you must feel a little lighter having let go of that emotion. And it’s good for children to see their parents express their feelings. All too often we tell our kids to ‘man up’. Instead we need to teach them how to feel and to be able to share if. Seeing you share your feelings may encourage them to do that for themselves too and thus way you can all help and support each other. Overcome this bad time in the best way possible, rather than bottling it all up.

    #25860 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi M

    So true.

    Thank you

    P

    #25866 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Oh my god

    just woke up ☹️

    Still feeling crap.  Boy it hurts bad.

    ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

    P

    #25869 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Yes it does hurt.

    I used to wake up in the early hours and sobbing til my pillow was as soggy as a dishcloth. Even though I was the one that ended the relationship it was still hard.

    In those days I used to make myself a brew and sob it out. Mum used to say ‘don’t you dare start crying!’ What else are you supposed to with that raging river inside?

    Its rare now that I get insomnia but usually these things work: sweet cup of tea, a book, film or tv thats not upsetting.

    I know it doesn’t help the underlying problem it just helps to distract you and hopefully back to sleep.

    It does get easier trust me 😀

    #25885 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Peter,

    I hope you are feeling better. Showing emotions can be hard especially for those of us that are always so “strong” – if you know what I mean.

    Be gentle with yourself and remember you are learning how to manage it all. Perhaps, indulge yourself with a treat! You are doing your very best and that’s all anyone can ask for.

    At mine, we have “Chat Day” on Tuesdays which is where we talk about our day and plan the week. They tell me about their friends, homework, if they think I was unfair telling them off xyz day etc. Step by step we have been opening up more the subjects and we even talk sometimes about Trump.🙄 Of course adults have stronger feelings about things and I try to keep it low key, but it feels good that they feel confident to talk and express how they feel which in turn has helped me too.

    G.

     

    #25886 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi G

    Thank you.

    I feel a lot better today😁.

    I finally got a couple of hours and woke up with my two boys besides me😁😁😁😁 my 15 year old daughter ( who thinks she’s 28 🤪🤪) has been a rock today.

    Yesterday’s episode was terrible. What I found was the hardest time was during the early hours, very dark

    How’s your day?

    A Big Thank you

    P

     

     

    #25894 Report

    footymum
    Participant

    hi, 

    I’m new on here but reading all your posts has definitely helped me. The early hours of the morning are by far the worst for me too, even if I’ve felt fine the day before I can wake up feeling so sad and lonely and just scared for the future. Peter I’m glad you’re feeling better today 🙂 I too just broke down in front of my kids and my eldest started crying too and just hugged me (which meant the world).  I’ve always been the rock and I too felt so bad that I’d let my emotions come out in front of him. But maybe it gave him a chance to have a good cry too.

    G I love the idea of a chat day… think I’m going to steal that idea!

    This site really helps… I’m so glad I’ve discovered it.

     

    Take care

    S x

    #25896 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi S

    Its a brilliant forum and has helped me so much.

    You know since my blip yesterday something seems to have changed in my relationship with the kids.I can’t put a finger on it but it feels good.Maybe it the fact that I cried in front of them for the first time.

    Take care.

    P

    #25897 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi

    Why is it when day light goes the horror comes back?☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

    My word it feels BAD

    P

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 23 total)

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