Worst month of my life

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  • #20000 Report


    so this is me….with my partner 9 years, married for less than a year, 2 beautiful children. Around Xmas the relationship ended (tough couple of months) and I saw messages which I wasn’t comfy with. I thought we wud sort stuff out but my wife isn’t willing

    so 4 wks down the line we r still in the same house. She has put a deposit down on a rented property on the same street.

    But is pushing for money. Legal advice has indicated I shudnt give it her without an agreement but I am aware the agreement we have come to is good one. I av suggested drawing it up and having it signed by a solicitor but she has been told a mediator can do that and it be cheaper. The situation I am in is she hasn’t thought of everything but we are content with what we have agreed.  What’s the best route to take?

    the worst bit for me is I am struggling to accept the situation. She is denying an affair with this woman and I just can’t get my head round how after a few months of marriage u just walk away.

    my head is a mess and although I can’t let go I do want this over with now as it feels like emotional turmoil and I am not coping very well with it

    any advice greatfully received (just to avoid confusion it is a same sex marriage!)


    #20004 Report


    I think the difference in cost between a mediator and a solicitor is a relatively small amount if it is going to give you peace of mind.

    Bear in mind that whatever your ex tells you, she may be mistaken or she may be lying.  There are children involved so I would always see a solicitor before handing over any money.

    I hope things get easier soon

    #20010 Report

    • Mediators are not qualified solicitors and they will be 80% cheaper than a qualified solicitor. You need to see a solicitor with a view of sending a legal letter. Do not waste your money on a mediator.
    #20015 Report



    I am very sorry to hear about your problems.  I have been through a separation where children were involved and it was all very paintfull, so I sympathise with you.

    As for the the agreement between you, Im afraid even if it is drawn up and signed by a solicitior, it is not legally binding.  The only actual document which ensures they have no claim on anything in the future is a financial agreement which is part of the divorce process.

    I hope you can get your head in a place where you can make some decisions.  Baby steps is the way through it and making small moves in the right direction.

    #20016 Report


    Thank u for your replies. We are going to have a separation agreement drawn up by the solicitor. I know that it won’t be legally binding but I feel it will give some peace of mind until we get to point of divorce. At which point I expect I will be seeking a clean break order but right now I can’t even cope with the separation so the thought of divorce isn’t one I can deal with well

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