Worried sick alone and desperate
14 April 2021 at 9:13 pm #52844
Hi please bear with me as I am new to this so please correct me where I go wrong after all that’s what I’m desperate for guidance &I support.
I have been a single mum for the past 17 years and my beautiful daughter turns 18 this year.
When her dad and myself divorced he moved 80 miles a dk to his family and contact wasn’t there he would occasionally collect her and take her back for the weekend but not regularly .He never attended any school meetings , plays, competitions etc . My daughter was bullied through school because her peers never seen her daddy this had a big impact on her little soul and during a gymnastic comp I watched all the enthusiasm drain from her after watching the gymnasium door for him to walk in . From then she didn’t want or do any activities and I tried everything to get her a hobby etc. I literally watched all motivation and enthusiasm leave her little body .
At 13 years old her daddy passed away from copd and alcohol related illnesses. I too am a recovering addict and suffer badly with an eating disorder depression and anxiety. When I went for help for addiction my weight had plummeted the worse ever down to 5stone I wa screaming out for help , but the assessment was taken by an unqualified worker and had one job to do and he ticked boxes he shouldn’t of next day I was in a battle to keep my daughter and she had to be informed of my relapse .
self harming began after the passing of her dad , she started cutting her legs and arms with a blade and on anniversaries of her dad she would take tablets and attempt suicide.
Cahms have been in her life but has already had 3/4 different workers now she has one she feels safe to talk too it’s all change again now she’s about to turn 18 this worries her change puts fear into her and always has . So last year April when our home of 18 years had a fire taking precious belongings and our past present and future up in flames before our eyes . We stayed out in that house purely for the right time to sell up & that time had come I was getting it ready to sell for the top price and move to Cyprus buy outright so my child had a future nest egg for when I’m gone . The house was bought on mortgage with her dad for her future . A few months prior I had to make a choice between house insurance or pets . I choose pets so left us with nothing to fall back on . We still have a shell of a home and living in a 2 bed flat crying every day but grateful and blessed to be alive and a roof over our heads . I won’t get anywhere near the amount needed to move , I’ve not got the support to fix the house so no choice but to sell and take another loss of over £100 k .
My daughters mental health has deteriated , she swapped the blade for weed although recently has self harmed on her leg and arm 😥 The lack of motivation has now been diagnosed by her Cahms worker as Anorexia, which has now developed in her mind as this is what she has and is mind set on being sectioned and hospitalised. Last night she told me she has about 30% of her that wants to get well but the other 70% is a lot stronger that wants to die and not try to get well. I’ve sent over websites etc for her but her reply was thanks mum for trying but it won’t help and she won’t even look at them yet I’ve looked at her tic tom and her feed is full of young people I. And out of physc wards for attempting suicide and eating disorders none getting better more glamourising it if that’s possible to my daughter it seems so ,
whe. I lost so much weight I had to really check myself and with my daughters help it became apparent that I was raised by a narsaasitic mother and father , and now and the past 17 half years my daughter is also been raised by her when I’ve needed support I’ve gone to my mother and that’s empowered her to take control and proper mess her mind up even to tell my child to keep secrets from me , they throw so much money at her then say not to tell me , they buy her and tell her way too much inappropriate stuff that I’ve asked and set boundaries all her life only for my parents to lUgh at me and over power and undermine me . It’s really been tough and still is as I don’t know what I can do to help her . I know that if she ends up sectioned etc she will never get well and fed a concoction of medication I. There which will develop into self medicating once released and on that viscipus cycle …
if anyone can relate to any of this please let me know there is a light out there for change and aid my beautiful daughter the right way for a happy future .
im so desperate for support and guidance and to make sure this cycle of wrong teachings gets broken .15 April 2021 at 12:20 pm #52919
I’m Michelle one of the moderators here. I’m glad to see you posting in the forum, and I hope that you’ll benefit from using the space. I’ll leave a message in your inbox with some links that might be helpful.