Hi I have a 5 and 7 year old and a partner of 14 years who in the last year has left me several times saying he can’t live with me anymore.
He says it is my fault because I can’t keep the house the way he likes and it stresses him out. I think since Covid he has found it harder as before he used to hardly be at home.
I am terrified everytime he leaves that this is it and I don’t know how I will cope with looking after the children and house etc on my own. I struggle to cope and the place is always untidy as it is. I also get really tired and never have any time to myself now. So how will it be in the future? My partner says I’m not great at coping and I’m so scared he will be right.
Im in such a mixed mind as sometimes it’s easier when he isn’t here as we can do what we like but then we rely on him financially and also I do get stressed with the kids sometimes as 1 is quite high needs and I have cheonic migraines so ocasionally need a hours break or 2 in the week and he will sometimes take them to the park or something.
Everyone manages differently as everyone’s circumstances are different and so are people’s ways of coping.
It’s normal to be worrying but I see you have written that your kids father was away a lot before this past disastrous year happened, yet you seemed to have got through that.So that’s encouraging.
You have also said you’re not sure how you will manage alone if need be,as he takes them to the park occasionally etc.He would still be able to do that for you surely? That seems to be what a lot of single dads do.
You have also said that sometimes it’s easier for you when he is absent,then you are free to run the household the way You like.
Besides for finances which obviously would have to be sorted you have pointed out quite a few positive points,or at least ways in which you seem to be saying things without him would not be much different- possibly even be improved.
Last thing is,it’s important to remember that worries are not anything substantial or even ‘real’.
They are simply thoughts.
Our choice is to either try to improve our situations or accept it.Sitting stewing and sweating does nothing to improve our problems and often makes things worse.😪 Good luck with whatever happens &remember there’s absolutely loads of ppl in the same boat ready to lend a shoulder on here😉
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