Worried about work

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  • #50745 Report

    Matcha_Blossom
    Participant

    I’m a 22 single mum and my daughter is 5

    I’ve recently been told to start looking for work, I’ve never been employed before and the idea of working is very scary to me as I have anxiety, social anxiety and depression. I obviously want to provide for my daughter but I feel like my mental health will get in the way of me getting a job.

    I feel like every job I see requires confidence, social skills etc and I just don’t have that, I also don’t have experience in anything so it’s difficult to find jobs when they require experience to apply.

    I have a degree in games design but it’s a field of work that relies on connections which I don’t have. I was thinking of getting a qualification as a IT technician but I’m worried about how to fit that around my daughter.

    I’m very lucky to be living at home with my parents who are super supportive and can help with childcare costs but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to satisfy my anxiety.

    How do people deal with getting into work as a single parent? I know I can get support for childcare but I don’t know what would be best. I feel like I don’t know anything about what I’m doing. I just want to be able to support my daughter but I’m scared my mental health will make it difficult.

     

    Me and her father split up because the relationship was very toxic and my therapist said it was domestic abuse and so I left. He’s seen her less then 10 times since she was 2 and he doesn’t pay anything towards her.

    #50754 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Sounds like you need to take the plunge and get onto your own two feet.I was wondering how you have managed alone with a child for 5 years until I read you have had a lot of support,which is great,but it appears a large  number of people who get a lot of support seem to fall back on ‘anxiety’,’depression’ etc  when it comes to rolling up their sleeves when required! If your parents are willing to host you forever,make the most of it.Other than that it is poss to get 7 free counselling sessions,your GP may be able to advise with that or local Surestart centre etc which should help you get back to the land of the living.

    #51134 Report

    Taryn Evans
    Participant

    🙂

     

    #51135 Report

    Taryn Evans
    Participant

    <span lang=”RU”>Hi, dear! :-)</span>

    <span lang=”RU” style=”font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: ‘Calibri’,sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: RU; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;”>I don’t think you should be so critical of yourself. You have such a difficult period and it will pass, everything will be fine.  You have a very good profession and you can find a good job. It’s probably just hard for you to talk about your experience. But that’s okay.</span> <span style=”font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: ‘Calibri’,sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;”>I went through it myself! </span><span lang=”RU” style=”font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: ‘Calibri’,sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: RU; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;”> If it’s hard to tell, write it. Write a motivation letter and send it to where you’d be interested in working. Nowadays a lot of communication happens online and that’s normal.                                                                                                                                                                       </span><span lang=”RU” style=”font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: ‘Calibri’,sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: RU; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;”> If you find it difficult to assess your skills on your own, you can turn to a special </span>online paraphrasing service<span style=”font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;”>. You just need to work with a specialist once to put together your motivational letter. It will take about a week. You’ll spend $15 once, but you’ll be confident that this </span>

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Taryn Evans.
    #51137 Report

    Singlemumoftwogirls
    Participant

    In the meantime, as a first step you could look for work that you can do from home. Certain companies are looking for people who can support them with all kinds of publications eg my friend does editing for them. (I think it’s called ‘upwork’ but you can find them if you google it). I bet with your design skills you will be snapped up.

    This will boost you and give you the confidence without the pressures of going out and meeting lots of people in an unfamimiar setting. Once you have had the support you need to get out there, this may help.

    Ps i recommend CBT, your GP can help you make a referral.

    Good luck 🙂

    #51140 Report

    Belsey
    Participant

    What about doing some voluntary work to begin with?

    #51161 Report

    Helena788
    Participant

    Hello,

    I was a stay at home mum until my daughter was 5, so I can appreciate how you may be feeling. I went to uni before having her and had also worked. I did do some voluntary whilst she was at nursery and in reception this likely helped me gain not only experience but confidence too. I had my daughter at 24 and moved out of my parents home when she was 4 months old. It was probably a great thing even though it was really terrifying and lonely.

    Being a parent is a job, and it’s an even bigger job and responsibly by yourself. I often feel that I forget that myself.

    I know it may be a hard transition; if I cpuld offer any advice it would be to take baby steps; maybe look into voluntary work and such. My daughter is almost 8 and I work part time; I wouldn’t work full time until she is older. So, it gives me a little bit of a balance of the two. I think it’s hard trying to navigate through a career – part time but I’m just taking things as they go.

    Hope this helps.

    Good luck, Helena x

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