Won’t see his daughter but sends so many gift??

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  • #34032 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    my child’s dad decided in April not to see his daughter then weeks later did, this was an ongoing thing as you can read in another forum post of mine.

    for about 4 months now she has received gifts 2-3 times a month coats, expensive tracksuits, T-shirts, drums, keyboard, guitar etc! It’s driving me a bit potty now

    he refuses to go to mediation to arrange contact in the past saying he won’t pay for it but sends her all these gifts via his mum we see on a weekly basis…. why? I really don’t understand!

    #34037 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    I obviously don’t know your husband, but to me it seems like he’s trying to ease his guilty conscience. He doesn’t bother to spend his time on her, but he’s justifying that by giving her gifts.

    #34040 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    Emmaj84

    Never married.

    thats what’s going through my mind though! Sometimes I feel like it’s a cheap mind game tactic, he’s playing  so when she’s older he can say “I bought you stuff and spent a fortune on you! And your mum still wouldn’t let me see you”…. not the case at all.  To be fair with every “gift drop” she gets it screws with my head a bit. Making me question if he really does care, then I think if he cared he’d sit in an hour long mediation meeting to arrange contact.
    sometimes I think I shouldn’t accept the gifts, but then that would be wrong as well “I sent you stuff and your mum sent it back, she cut me out completely” catch 22.
    maybe it’s something he does so he can tell people in the pub how generous he is, so he can enjoy a beer without people glaring at him, thinking what a deadbeat he is for turning his back on a second child.
    unfortunately my daughter isn’t the first child he’s walked away from.

    #34052 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    I think you’re spot on in what you’ve said. If I were you I’d accept the stuff he sends your daughter and let him carry on as he is. Your daughter will grow up one day and be able to understand that yes dad gave me stuff but he was never there for me. And he’ll have to answer to her then. All you can do is concentrate on being the best mum you can be and let him be accountable for his own actions.

    #34055 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    Emmaj84

    thanks, sometime someone else’s option makes me feel like I’m not mad. X

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