Will things ever feel OK again?

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    I’m very early days into my marriage ending 3 weeks ago and even though it is 100% the right thing and I’ve been unhappy for a long time – I’m so unbelievably frightened about the future. I know things will settle but I cant shake this sick to the stomach anxiety and fear about what is ahead. The finances, how I’ll cope, the responsibility of being primary care giver, the loneliness, the impact on the children….all of it terrifies me. I have this feeling that things will never be ok again, which I’m sure seems irrational, but it feels very real.

    How do I go forward from here? I feel like this crippling worry will make me bad at negotiations with my ex. I’m finding it hard to reconcile the “vision” of my life (happily married, children, family life etc etc) with the reality of what my life will now be. I feel like I’ve let the children down and even though I KNOW we will all be happier with my husband and I apart, I cant shake that feeling of failure and its awful. Its frustrating because I would NEVER judge anyone for making a decision about their relationship that is clearly the right one, but I’m so scared of being judged myself.

    It’s been 13 years of this relationship..pretty much my whole adult life. What now?

    I guess I’m just looking for solidarity and reassurance, I dont know.

    Thanks if you got this far.

    #57432 Report


    Hi, sorry to hear your going through this, I’m currently in the same situation for the 3rd time in 12 months.
    I don’t want this and believe that it’s not actually what he wants either but here I am holding the home front with 2 kids who are broken too.
    How are your children coping right now ?

    #57435 Report


    Hi As A Males Advice.

    I went through Divorce Just over a year ago and all i can say is hold on to all the positives and you will be fine. You have children which is amazing. You have a job. Your Kids will need you more than ever and if your family can support you then that is a massive help. I would advise keeping your friends close too as i never did and now am a lonely 29 year old who doesnt feel like much purpose but my daughter keeps me going. I wish you all the best and if you ever need to talk there are thousands of people who are here to help you just got to ask. 🙂

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