Will making with no family.

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  • #36949 Report

    Bagram72
    Participant

    Hi

    Im almost 48 with a 7 yr old daughter and have put off making a Will as I don’t have anyone who could take my child in the event of an untimely death.

    I know it’s a morbid topic but as an oncology nurse the reality is possible, and when a young patient passes it worries me that if anything happened to me she’d go into care.

    I am estranged from my brother & mother since my daughter was 18 months old due to toxic lifelong relationships that I ended for my own mental health and there has been no contact whatsoever from both sides in 6 yrs-nor do I wish for any, so would not want my child going to my brother.

    Does anyone else find themselves in a similar situation?

    Any kind comments would be appreciated.

     

    Lisa x

     

    #36964 Report

    JC2
    Participant

    Hi Lisa, I am a lone parent (my daughter is the same age as yours).

    For me, the issue of guardianship was really sensitive – I had to face head on that my situation was far from what I had ever hoped, and that my daughter might be vulnerable after my death.

    If parents, siblings and the birth father are not appropriate or available – can a good friend act as a guardian?

    Happy to PM.

     

    #36976 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    If I was in your shoes there maybe a chance of reconciliation. Families fall out then later on they make up despite what has happened in the past.

    I would not want my child to be put up for adoption and social services involved whether I got on with my family or not

    #37651 Report

    Bagram72
    Participant

    No their is no chance of reconciliation, and I wouldn’t want my daughter going to what would be strangers.

    I may have to look at a friend.

    Thanks for you replies x

    #37664 Report

    JosiePanda08
    Participant

    I’ve been involved in care proceedings from a professional stance. Estranged or not, if there are blood relatives for a child that’s often deemed preferential to the child entering the care system. So that could possibly be default for your daughter if there isn’t a will in place.
    Have you any close friends you would entrust her care with? As the saying goes – they’re the family we choose for ourselves.
    I still only have a teeny tot and while I love my family and know my sisters would happily take guardianship they’re 300miles away and I really want my child to stay in this area so have broached the subject with a couple of friends who are already referred to as aunties.

    #37674 Report

    Karma1981
    Participant

    Definitely make a will asap so there isn’t a chance she goes where you wouldn’t want.  Obviously please remember to provide financially to whoever is entrusted with your DD too.  For instance, half my estate goes absolutely to the guardian and half in trust for the kids.  It just makes it easier for them to manage the finances without having to ask trustees for money all the time, although money in trust for the kids can be used for their maintenance.  I have no family in the UK so will keep my STBX’s brother (their uncle) as guardian if their Dad passes.  He’s a nice guy so I’ve no worries on that fortunately.

    #37692 Report

    Bagram72
    Participant

    Yes I have all my savings, pensions, annuities down for my daughter as a 100% default as my next of kin. So financially she would be taken care of.

    Its just trying to find someone who has the same ideals, and outlooks/expectations for my child as I do…

    #38104 Report

    Kikie
    Participant

    I am a solo parent and I have a 6 yr old daughter and am in a similar situation. I have no family in this country and considering seriously for my brother in Australia to have her when I pass. I am yet to do a will but have everything else like pension and insurance payments going to my daughter. Thank you for bringing this topic up as it made me realise I have to have a will especially with the covid-19 around. Worst of all my brother might not be able to come here with the virus. But I am being positive and have faith my daughter and I will live long lives.

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