I left my ex when ds was two. A lot of other reasons but also Ex expected me to give up my 25 year career, wouldn’t help with ds or flex in any way.
We’re 9 years down the line now. I’ve worked full time, and had ds most of that time. Ex sees him every weekend for a few hours which they both seem content with.
In 7 years of school, ex hasn’t done a school run, a sports day, parents evening, docs appt, dentist or Hosp run. He says “he can’t because he works”. Ignores the fact that I do too and yet I manage. So I see it from the other side.
Every couple is different but there is no reason why your little one can’t have a stable and loving relationship with both parents. You have to find a way that works for both of you. My ds is a happy exuberant boy. I work hard to ensure he never sees us argue. Focus on giving him the best I can, and ignore the rest. It takes effort but it can be done. Good luck.
Looms like yours was a position of where one person wanted it a certain way.
I find it difficult to respect my wife, as she pretty much planned to have a child (as she was 41, also her first child) then pretty ran off and cut ties. I find it disrespectful and find it difficult to trust her. As I have told her many times this is not the right way to bring up a child. She states her work is more important
Has she proposed a solution? If her work is important to her, does she want to share custody? It would make her work life balance much easier.
Do you live close enough that you can split responsibilities, and cover for each other? As a working parent, conflicts will arise no matter how well organised she is.
All you can do is apply for an access order when the time comes, be calm and offer support. Try to rebuild trust, so you can work as a team raising your little one. My life isn’t how I expected but it works. You guys will work it out too.
I said lets rent near to her to help her carry on working. She said ‘i dont waste money on rent, dead money’, she suggested she will buy hoouse outright on her own name, then never did. Even after i sent her links to suggested homes on rightmove, to kick start the process. She is now living at her dads and brothers house.