Why won’t he even try?
11 February 2018 at 2:53 pm #7586
My husband walked out on me and my 2 babies, they are both under 3. He won’t even try to make it work, I’ve suggested counselling, trial separation etc but I get nothing from him, he is so cold and I know his mind is made up. He says we are now 2 different people who want different things. I’m now being left with 2 children under 3 and my life has been turned upside down. What gets me is his lack of effort to even try…he simply won’t and doesn’t seem in the least bit upset. I feel so so guilty to our children, he doesn’t seem to show any guilt and just sticks to what he wants which is to leave me.yes things have been different and busy since our 2nd child but he hasn’t told me about any of his problems he has with me and has just decided he doesn’t want me!!!!19 February 2018 at 1:55 pm #7827
I feel your pain. After 25 years with my partner he has decided to split from me. And he has told me about a women he’s been meeting up with as friends ( yeah right ) has now got feelings for him and he doesn’t know whether he feels the same or not! Cut a long story short I know he had his head turned and that’s why he gave up on us . Men are bastards ! X19 February 2018 at 6:42 pm #7846
It’s perplexing. Many men do seem to be able to decide to leave and not look back. I don’t mind from my point of view as it was high time we split up, and I think we’re both happier, but I didn’t anticipate the total lack of continuation of joint parenting!19 February 2018 at 8:12 pm #7856
Can I just say something from the other side of the gender divide? My wife left me and took three children under 5. Since when I’ve had not one phonecall, meeting, Skype, letter, photo – nothing. She prevaricates about mediation and the only thing she’s indicated is that she’s never coming back to the house and though she “isn’t saying” she doesn’t love me, she also says the relationship is over.
We’re all in the same boat – men and women.19 February 2018 at 9:57 pm #7869
Yes, some women leave too (and sometime without their kids, but in my experience it’s rarer)?
It’s a shame. I think that as a parent who wants to see your kids, you might have rights to achieve this but as the parent looking after them alone, we have no right to insist that absent parent does a bit of basic keeping in touch and the occasional weekend, even if it’s a need that needs addressing.19 February 2018 at 10:02 pm #7870
Bo, both partners have rights to benefit the children. Yeah, you may need to go to court, but that’s the same for any party who feels the other partner isn’t doing their bit, whether that’s blocking access or being bad at making an effort.20 February 2018 at 3:58 am #7877
Sometimes you have to accept it is over and move on. Will not be easy for either partner. I knew my ex for 10 years before marriage and was married for 8 years afterwards, but still came to an end.
However, for me the priority is children. When I separated eldest (stepdaughter from wife) was 21 and at University so not part of the equation. Son was 8. I pay both Child Maintenance and Spousal Maintenance as ex cannot earn same as myself. Ex also received a lump sum and kept house I bought for her before marriage. So in terms of money and assets she is okay.
Access to son is an issue. Ex moved address recently and I only found out by chance. Son is blocked from seeing his grandparents too.
So looks like I will have to go down the Court route.10 March 2018 at 7:00 am #8510
It’s dreadful, he has done nothing to even work at this. The sad thing is I think we could make it work! I have given him space and written him a letter but got nothing back. I know it’s over but just feel like he hasn’t even met me half way to try, surely trying one more time isn’t that silly as we have 2 kids together??? He has just been living at his parents and sees kids twice per week, they are 1 and 2.5, you can see the bond slowly disappearing and it’s so sad.