Why is dating as a single parent so difficult?

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  • #64209 Report

    ArtyJane
    Participant

    I’ve had a couple of dates over the past 3 years, but I seem to attract men who are emotionally unavailable. Dating sites are full of strange people. Having young children means I can’t drop things and be available at a whim. Feeling a bit lost in the world of dating, it’s all work and children. I think I need to get a social life and meet different people. There has to be more to life than this

    #64211 Report

    My experience of dating/dating sites wasn’t that great when I was single so I’m really not looking forward to a time when I can put myself out there.   I’m (very) recently separated so nothing like ready but I’m sure I’ll get there at some point.   I think the only thing I can suggest is to be honest with yourself and anyone else, that’s the most important thing.   When I was dating and had no kids even then I soon realised the importance of people putting recent photos up rather than their 2005 photo from that great holiday they had, so I just started to be really direct with people when they showed an interest.

    Only a couple of dates in the last three years doesn’t seem to be a great deal.   Not judging, just an observation.  Does that tell you something though?   Could it be the social side of things that you’re lacking more than dating?  I guess what I’m probably saying is that if you wanted to go on more dates, perhaps you could, so does that mean you don’t actually see it as being that important?  Perhaps start with the (hopefully) easier thing of sorting a social life out for yourself and see where that takes you, rather than thinking you need a partner in your life.   Just my thoughts.  Hope it helps.

    #64238 Report

    Tiffanys989
    Participant

    I really feel for you! I’ve been pretty much single for 15 years! Have dated on and off but until recently concentrated on bringing up my son. I also have chronic fatigue which I have to manage so can’t just drop everything on whim either. Most want friends with benefits or a one night stand and it’s knocked my confidence in dating.

    Ive found dating sites soul destroying but don’t have many opportunities to go out and meet irl. Maybe 2022 will be a better year for us!

    #64254 Report

    TxRedneckUK
    Participant

     

    I know how you feel. I am a single dad who actually has the kids. I have been divorced for 12 years now and at one point had 3 girls and a boy at home. Now it’s just my 25yr old girl who is special needs and my 16yr old girl who thinks she is 30 (and swears like a angry sailor).

    I have had problems on dating sites too. Mainly from women who think that any man who claims they are a single dad with the kids is either a liar or a cheat or both. Even had one woman who lives fairly close (she lives in Broadway Worcestershire) tell me if I wanted to date her I had to “get rid of my f’ing kids”(her exact words but one word abbreviated). I replied back (on PoF) with a two word reply and she reported me. I appealed the banning and sent them her message to me and she got removed from the site and I was unbanned then I deleted my account.

    I did find a nice woman though. We were together 9 years before she passed away October 2019 from breast cancer. Since then I have not felt like getting back in the scene and have concentrated on my girls especially now that my 19yr old girl is 17 weeks pregnant with what will be my 7th grandkid.. (or 6th grandkid..her and my daughter in law are both expecting and the same due date)..

    Anyway. good luck on the dating. I know it can be a pain especially when children are young. Just remember if you find somebody they must accept it’s a PACKAGE DEAL like you would be expected if they had kids too..

    #64263 Report

    Helen0810
    Participant

    I’ve given up on it for now, I dated a few times after divorce but it was always when the kids were with grandparents because I didn’t want to mix the kids and my love life. I did date a lovely guy for nearly a year and he wanted to meet my kids but then dumped me because he thought I wasn’t into him enough, I was though! But he wanted a lot more attention than I could give (even though I did explain this before we were officially dating) I have 2 boys and 1 has autism and I work so I don’t have much spare time. Anyway… I’m off grid now and I actually quite like it hehe.
    I think just be clear and honest at the beginning- you don’t have much spare time but when you do, you want to have fun and enjoy it with someone.

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