Why do men cheat?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Ali.saa 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #33231 Report

    Caliewaters1
    Participant

    When I met my ex partner 18 years ago he liked a drink and we had a daughter who is now 16 his brother died of liver failure when my daughter was 2 and we worked hard around that time to get him off the drink as it was a family problem instilled in him and that’s great because he hasn’t drank now in 14 years.  But he made me feel like a nag helping him out of the drinking culture and when my daughter was 4 a new addiction kicked in and that was cheating.

    He has hooked up with a single mum in my daughters dance school over the years and another single mum who was one of his close friends exes I seen the messages from these women and how can a woman who willingly knows he has a family do this to me?  What have I ever done to them?  If you are that single mum cheating with a family man think of the victimisation and violation you have caused and even coming into a family home when the mum of the house is at work what are you thinking would you like some stranger doing that in your home? One of the messages was one of them discussing it’s all fun.  No it’s not fun it’s not fun on the innocent children. What has happened to the world?

    Over the years I have found condom leaflet in our family car the list goes on there is not just these 2 other women there is another 2 so 4 at least in the 18 years of being together.

    I came to my senses at least I thought I did in 2017 and told him to leave after 15 years of being together at that time and he came back with an engagement ring because even though we were together for 15 years we never married and I fell pregnant with my little boy who is now 2, when I chucked him out I was told by a Male colleague at work all men cheat, is this true? In my 43 years of being on this planet surely there are loyal faithful people out there I was loyal and faithful for 18 years?

    4 weeks ago he was up to his tricks again and I dont want to go into the lengthy details but I am now done and he has left.  My 16 year old daughter actually finally got him to leave.  It’s taken 18 years a painful time for my teenage daughter and I am ready to raise my little 2 year old boy on my own.  I am scared I dont know what’s happening with all our assets we have built up in 18 years.  I am not going to buy any of his stories, blame myself and have him back.  I just wish I did it sooner I used to think I could handle it all when I was with him thinking well Beyonce and Hilary Clinton strong women have been cheated on by their husbands so I can live with him doing this to me, but I think now why should any woman live with a man doing this to her?

    #33238 Report

    Sunflowerpup
    Participant

    Hi

    i thought your post was really sad. What an awful person to treat you that way.

    my ex cheated. I think only the once, but who knows if actually more went on. He forced me and his child out of our home and then moved her in for a short period whilst the sale was going through. I was paying for her to live there!
    I realised then that my view of her being fairly innocent up until that point, was completely wrong. There are women out there who actively enjoy having what is someone else’s and enjoy wrecking a home. I had been naive in thinking none of it was really her fault.

    I guess some men and some women just don’t appreciate what they have or like to have their cake and eat it.

    I hope that you feel better of without him because you are and I hope you go onto have a good life without constantly knowing he’s up to something behind your back.

    #33251 Report

    Caliewaters1
    Participant

    It’s hard to adapt because when you have been with someone for 18 years but I am feeling better knowing I am no fool, that’s awful how they moved in I am going to try and cling onto the house I work part time so I guess I will up my hours but my parents are now elderly and I cant get the support off them I did for my older daughter my dad is 83 now and has mobility problems and my mum is 75 caring for my dad, when you really need a life partner to get you through while your parents are frail and then he throws you and his family under the bus for his own selfish needs.  I think he is up to something now as he is going on about how he is going to find it hard paying rent somewhere and maintenance towards our mortgage but its his own bed.

    #33252 Report

    Sunflowerpup
    Participant

    He sounds a terrible person. I know how hard it is. I don’t have any local support. I hope you are looking after yourself as much as you can!

    #33267 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Not all men cheat, it’s abhorrent to treat someone that way, there are no excuses. I’d much rather have someone leave if they want someone else rather than do it behind my back, even the thought of it makes me feel sick, and I do know how it feels because it’s not just men who cheat.

    #33268 Report

    Singledadof3
    Participant

    Like Jon says.👆

    Not all men cheat, we can all look but to me even messaging or hanging out, creating that feeling of more than window shopping is a form of cheating.

    When your partner cheats its like someone has ripped your insides out and then later have difficulty trusting.

    Well that’s how I feel about it. There are decent men and women out there, shame about the bad apples.

    #33283 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Hey there

    It was and it’s really hard situation you have. Living without partner’s support with 2 years boy also is difficult.

    But I have a question, how you want to handle your ex’s behaviour?

    Unfortunately we are living on a terrible and ugly world, living with anyone’s without loyalty is terrific!

    I was on this f..cking situation before. Completely understand what you had emotionally. But he never ends cheating, believe me it never ends!

    Not all men cheating to their partners. although it’s difficult to find a best partner but it’s possible…

    You made a great decision to leave him.

    Hope you can solve the financial.

     

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