who should look after the kids if i am going out?

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  • #5822 Report


    Hi, need a little bit of advice, my partner and I are split up, we have 2 boys and they live with me seeing their dad twice during the week and one weekend they see him on a sunday and the following weekend they have a sleep over on the sarturday.

    I have a night out (the first this year) on a sunday night when they are not normally with their dad so I arranged for someone to look after them for me so that they are in their own beds and I can take them to school in the morning. He is not happy and said that if I’m not with the boys then they should be with him. is that the case? From what people have said to me if I normally have them then it is my responsibility to arrange for someone to look after them?

    #5834 Report


    I had a problem like this one in the past and it ended up causing loads of stupid arguments so I hope it doesn’t come to that for you.

    My ex-partner objected to anyone else doing the child care but was totally unreliable himself and wouldn’t see his own children even when he was ordered to let alone when it would suit me, in fact he deliberately let me down many times just to be vindictive and to control/stop me going out.

    Best thing is to make your own arrangements and just don’t tell him, it’s not his business who you ask when it’s your time with the children so long as they are suitable. At the end of the day what can he do about it (other than rant at you). What people have said to you is right, it’s your responsibility not his and why should you not go out, letting him be the sole babysitter gives him control of your life and that’s a no

    #5840 Report


    Thank you very much for replying.

    #5866 Report


    I totally agree! If you rely on your ex for childcare it will only be a matter of time before he lets you down or abuses the power you have given him. It shouldn’t be any of his concern who looks after your children when it’s your time with them as long as you know that they are happy and safe. I don’t know how old your children are but I often find having other people’s kids over for sleepovers really helpful because they are usually more than happy to return the favour, and it’s a bonus for the kids too!

    #5889 Report


    personally if its not his day with the kids then its none of his concern who is baby sititng. if u give him the kids then all its saying to him is i acn ***** and moan and she’ll give in. u let him see them more than enough more than any court wld give him. it almost sees as if he may be jealous ur going out tht u have a social life and dont need to call on him. u have ur night out let ur hair down and let him throw his toys out cos he’s not getting his own way.

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