I’m new to this site. My husband & I have been together 11 years and married 9 of them but we’ve not been happy together in a long time. We tried counselling many years ago but he wasn’t ready to talk. He self referred himself on Christmas Day 2018 for mental health support. He lost his job in March (but had 3 months paid gardening leave) and has been unable to find work. I’ve reached the end of the line to support him at home and need to focus on myself and our 2 children (7 & 5). I’ve asked him to leave 3 times this year to give me a break but when he comes back from his parents I will talk to him about separating permanently.
The big question is what do I do? We have a joint mortgage but I can make it work on my part-time wage (just). He has no wage coming in but I know his parents will help him out financially (they live 2 hours away from us). I’m looking into seeking 30 mins free legal advice & have opened up my own bank account as everything we have is tied together. Any recommendations of what I need/could do? I’ve always said that I’d never stop him seeing the children but I guess I need to start thinking about starting up a legal contract.
Well lockdown happened for me. I spoke with citizens advice who advised me to talk to a solicitor. I arranged the 1st meeting the day after Mothers day so I could invite my mum & then she could come along. I asked my ex to stay at his parents house for mothers day weekend (not telling him the real reason) & then lockdown hit that weekend & he’s not been back! It’s been horrible in terms of him refusing to co-operate and I’ve spent a fortune on solicitors fees (which was pretty pointless). I think he’s now agreed to go to mediation but I’ve still not received anything to confirm this.
My best advice to you is to look into what you’re entitled to from universal credit, look into switching to cheaper tariffs & single occupancy on council tax (depending on how it works for you). I wouldn’t go down the solicitors route straight away as that has just felt like throwing money away. Try to sort things out between you & if not push for mediation. I’m still hopeful we can sort things out via mediation. Good luck x
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