Where do I start?

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  • #36857 Report

    Dipper1974
    Participant

    So briefly, my son has disclosed that he is scared of his Dad and has described to me emotional abuse, I recognise this as it is why I left his father in the end.  I feel guilty about letting him go there when I see him physically bieng sick and begging me not to send him.  What do I do to kero my son safe and get my ex to see what he is doing to his son without him saying its me?

    #36868 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    How old is your son?

    If your son begs you not to send him, you need to support that. Email your ex, explain that your son is becoming distressed and doesn’t want to spend time at his house.  Suggest that, in the short term, contact takes place at a public venue such as a softplay or Maccie D’s with you or a trusted 3rd party present.  No overnights for a while.

    And explain why.  If he kicks off, you need to stand firm. Let him take you to court if that’s what it takes.  Your son is depending on you.

     

     

     

     

    #36869 Report

    Dipper1974
    Participant

    My son is 11 years old.  He stays overnight with his Grandparents not his Dad, but he has told me it gets stressful when his Dad arrives at the house.  His Dad lives in a 1 bed flat and his GF stays 7 nights a week despite living less than 1 minute away, my son had been staying there before GF came on scene and sleeping in the bedroom with his Dad but was then moved out onto sofa and it wasn’t working, so his Grandparents said he could stay there.  This is all so awful, I just sit and cry for him, he says he knows his Dad doesn’t want him, and he never asks to see him extra, he only has him 24 hours a week and manages to screw with his head in that time! My son feels in the way and unwanted, not just since gf, long before that. Gf seems very nice and my son says he prefers it when she’s around as his Dad is nice to him then!

    #36886 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Your ds is old enough to express his own preference.

    It would be good to give him some control so perhaps he could try planning that one day, going to a sporting event with his dad or doing a Parkrun with him & the girlfriend.

    #36933 Report

    Hi Dipper1974

    I’m one of the moderators here at Gingerbread.  Please keep an eye out for a private message from me as I will be contacting you with some signposting options.

    Kind regards, Justine

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