When will it get better?

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  • #61046 Report

    EmLou10
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m new to this forum, but so needed to feel like I am not alone.  My husband left me January 2019.  He drinks alot and months before I had found out was also taking cocaine.  He wasn’t in a good place and i tried everything to try and make it right and be there for him, but the arguements got worse, and he stopped coming home some nights.  I have two teenage children, so  it was  really hard to hide what was going on.  During the first week of January he chose to not come home at all, alway apologising for getting too drunk and promising he wouldn’t do it again.  When he came home on the Saturday morning, I told him to go for a week and decide what he really wanted.  He never came back.  Weeks later in a drunken phone call he told me he didn’t love me any more and hadn’t for a while.  I was…..I am heart broken.  His relationship with his daughter has broken down, his family do not speak to myself and my daughter and he chooses to see his son for 2 hours a week.  So much has gone on,  and such awful things have been said over the past 18 months and I know our relationship is beyound repair, but i still love him, still miss him.   He has hurt my children so much and i should hate him, but i can’t.  I still worry about him and want to help him, but he hates me and I don’t know how it all come to this.  He was my best friend.  I have hardly any friends, my husband and children were all that i needed.  So sorry to go on, just would be so lovely to hear from someone, just to let me know that they have survived a similar situation and give me a bit of hope.  Thank you xx

    #61057 Report

    AnotherStatistic
    Participant

    Hi, I feel for you but can’t say I’ve survived the situation I’m afraid. However, I can say you are not alone – I am going through something similar – my wife has drug issues, has told me she doesn’t love me and was unfaithful when we were together. She has now prompted the divorce process and is trying to hurt me financially and through the children.

    Like you, despite all this I still love her and have never had a big social circle myself. I think people in our situation  have to start building our networks again somehow, move on from our ex partners and think of the future. It’s not easy, but there is no other way. I’m sure you’ll be able to do it

    #61648 Report

    Dedicated father
    Participant

    Hi

    firstly I am sorry you and your kids are having to go through this. I know of someone who is going through a similar situation where her ex partner is a alcoholic and she tried to help him (change him). Sadly she eventually  realised you can’t do that and needs to move on even though her daughter of for years old would benefit from a father, he is deemed dangerous to a degree due to drinking. It’s not easy to move on when you still have feelings for that person but, you got to think of yourself and especially your kids. You need to build yourself back and try to socialise more and only you can do that along with some help. Good luck

    #61687 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Emlou10 and others on this thread. I am one of the moderators on the forum and have deleted a comment above which was inappropriate. We do our best to remove spam like this quickly, but if you see anything that concerns you, please press the report button. Best wishes.

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