When to tell children if cohabiting

[Littlestar1977]

Hi all, what a sorry situation 😢.  The emotional aspect of mine and my husbands separation I don’t feel I can even touch on at the moment, and apparently this is all my fault 🤷‍♀️   However, the advice I need is on telling our children 😢😢.  After 15 months of cohabiting and putting on a pretence the house is finally up for sale.  It’s a long story as i am totally sure  it is for everyone here.  What my question right now is when and how do we tell our children of 7, 5 and 2??  I’m devastated for them but also know I cannot continue like this.   My husband has refused to move out, but I also read that it is not good to tell children too soon as they may get false hopes of parents staying together.  But I know the house sale will take months, and I’m sure my 7 year old has vibes.  Do we tell them now?  For sale board is due to go up and that’s gonna be awkward!!  I don’t want to lie but want to do the best possible thing for them in a horrible situation.  My dad left when I was 14 and the way I was told was beyond belief and though we are separating I am trying so hard to avoid the mistakes my mum and dad made 😢.  Does anyone also have any advice on who I can talk to, eg outside organisation although I’m not sure that’s allowed on these groups.  Thank you all 😕

[GingerbreadMichelle]

Hi Littlestar1977

I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here in the forum. It’s good to see you posting and I hope that you’ll find lots of support here,  You’ve asked about services that you could talk to.

From what you’ve said, perhaps Family Lives could be helpful.  They provide general support to families on issues around parenting, emotional support and just generally coping as a parent https://www.familylives.org.uk/  0808 800 2222

I hope that might help you to find your way forward with this.

Kind regards

Michelle

[Author]

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