When enough is enough

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  • #61708 Report

    A1977sigh
    Participant

    So I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking .. that’s it. You know you almost slip into a trance where you forgive and nod to things that you know are clearly simply wrong. I believe some adults just don’t grow up. We all have a sad tale to tell but some of us seem to carry it – dump it – keep dumping- and simply don’t ever see another side. It becomes damaging and tonight .. I’m done. I came from a broken home. 2 dysfunctional  but high achieving parents who appear to have trouble childhoods. I wanted better. I’ve tried, I’ve been tolerant till submissive because I believe there’s a place for kids in their fathers heart. It seems like tantrums aren’t just for kids and even as a single parent when do you just say ‘your presence’ is simply unhealthy for kids? I feel like I want my kids to see a better father figure – but it’s just not there. I tell myself who am I to judge how to be a father?  And that’s where I falter – I’m hoping somehow he’ll be better to them then he ever was to me. I’m merely some woman – that’s his blood, It sucks! But someone has to blow the whistle and be the bad guy – I suppose I know how ugly it’ll get and I’m tired of battles and not ready for full blown war. It’s simply a mess – how to carry on and for what??

    #61719 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi,

    I would suggest both of you to try couples/relationship counselling.

    #61761 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi A1977sigh, Please look out for a private message from me with some ideas for support.

    #61774 Report

    Claudia27
    Participant

    I am in similar boat… or not… maybe. we have got that far to make appointment for couple’s therapy for Monday, but I’m scared of it and can’t sleep. I wanted to go, it was my idea, again… yes, we’ve been there before… split up… back together despite the therapy didn’t work… keep on trying, I’m keep on believing his lies and thar one day we will live together as a happy family… (we’ve never lived together…) years of mental torture here… gaslihting, denials, lies, I breath his bullshit as other fresh air.

    Our son is 3 years old now. He never spent more time with his father than what’s in the court order… because we have one of those as well… how lucky! He didn’t hesitate to take me there after I gave birth to his son he wished would die in the womb a month before his birth… (that’s my bitterness over the things now).

    We’ve had an argument over bacon or bagel and where it is safe to out a child’s carsear in a car… (everyone knows that, but he wants to put him in the front seat, cos he can, because he is apparently his own personality? Whatever thar means.)

    This really put me off from trying anymore.

    This has made me realize thar if therapy won’t work again on Monday and we are unable to decide on our child’s safety in his car, I then have to let this nonsense go and go to get my life back! It also includes letting my precious little one go for overnight stays with his father so he gets off my back.

    That is not in the court order, but I simply can’t imagine living the rest of my life in terror over whether he will bring him home or holds him back, delays his return, changes collection location in last minute.

     

    I mean hello! Why the hell am I keep trying this for? It’s obvious even for the blind thar this so called relationship isn’t built on trust and love but misery.

    I would love to suggest couple’s therapy for everyone out there and before that’s what I did. Before… until we went there last time and since I’ve been listening how I used the sessions just to argue and make him look bad front of the therapist by opening up about every little thing.

    I’ve taken 2 sleeping pill, had some CBD oil drops and yet I’m surfing here at this time of the night writing out the nightmare of my life.

    Last night I dreamt that he wanted to kill me.

    The night before our 3 year old told me that “I love you mommy, I’m sorry that you are scared of Daddy.”

     

    I think I need to listen to my son more than anything.

    Despite my gut feelings ect… which I never listen to properly. But my son! He knows the truth. He sees mommy is suffering and with his magical simple wisdom is telling me “run”!

     

    When enough is really enough?

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

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