What’s a fair child agreement
21 March 2021 at 10:01 pm #51816
I never ever thought I’d even have to think about this but how do we work out child agreements. I really don’t want to share our daughter, i haven’t asked for any of this so i don’t think its fair that i now have to lose time with her. The thought of sharing birthdays and Christmas’s makes me feel psychically sick. I just don’t know where to start working things out, financially i can’t really afford to keep the house but i really want to, we bought our house so our daughter would have something when she’s older and the thought of losing that and having to rent somewhere which would be more expensive than my mortgage just hurts21 March 2021 at 11:51 pm #51818
Yea its going to hurt. Big time. No wonder you feel sick. You havent given very much detail though. Why will you lose time with her? Why will you lose your house? Why is the thought of sharing birthdays etc so bad? Sorry. It just without much info it hard to see how anyone can help in anyway. Sympathy of course. My heart goes out to you xx22 March 2021 at 1:02 am #51819
It’s so painful and unnatural…I’m surprised ppl don’t just cut their kids in half and b e done with it.No…
WEll a t least try to make it work to your benefit and fit in with your work/holidays.Maybe sometimes a break would come in handy,not now perhaps at the beginning but I would have appreciated a few days over the years.Anyway isn’t it a bit much,a bit soon to be setting things in stone now? would you not find it easier to take it a bit slower.Quite a lot to digest for you,sure ly.
You didn’t get much say in the path your life has taken so mbe at least now you can decide how and when….22 March 2021 at 7:03 am #51841
Mstime – in May last year my husband said he wasn’t happy anymore and moved in with his parents, we went back and forward with working it out then him saying he didn’t then he did etc. His mental health declined and his gran passed away, i supported him through everything. Then my dad passed away in December and the circumstances were horrific, suicide. I’ve never felt pain like it. I didn’t get the same support from my husband that I’d given him. We had a break in February where we didn’t have much contact then after that we agreed to marriage counselling and were going down that path. He still texted every night saying goodnight and love you, even on Friday night. Then on Saturday he came to the house and told me he didn’t want to go to counselling and didn’t want to come home and that’s it. I’ve put my life on hold for 10 months to let him get his mental health better and been there for him and he’s just giving up. All the dreams i had for our future gone just like that and i don’t get a say in it. I’m so angry and thats why i find it so unfair that I’m now going to have to share our daughter and share special occasions, i don’t see why i should have to miss out on things with her when none of this was my choice22 March 2021 at 10:58 am #51850
The most important thing is your daughter has set times and days with her dad . This is good for as its routine and stability.
At moment do you actually know how often dad wishes to see his daughter ?
At least you are in matrimonial home as well and if he is working no doubt you would be entitled to child maintenance and perhaps some help towards mortgage22 March 2021 at 11:25 am #51853
We haven’t spoken about that yet, it literally only happened at the weekend. I was under the impression we were going to give counselling a go and i made it very clear to him i wasn’t under the impression that counselling would fix it all, i just wanted the chance to try and fix it before giving up. I have an appointment with citizens advice tomorrow to see what I’d be entitled to. For now I’m going to suggest we leave the money for the bills in the bank and split the rest of our joint income til we work out a plan. Does that seem fair?22 March 2021 at 4:13 pm #51873
Its very hard to advise as there are lots of options what can happen. Its also very recent what has happened. Counselling would be worth exploring as that may put your mind at rest that you tried your hardest to salvage your relationship and not given up without a fight.
Its definitely going to be a point where you may have to decide the way forward which will hopefully result in things being amicable22 March 2021 at 4:19 pm #51874
That’s the reason i wanted to do go to counselling but he is now saying he’s not willing to do it so it’s just like i don’t have a choice in the matter. He’s not the person I thought he was for doing this.