What to do!

[Chez86Participant]

I need your advice, support or whatever anyone has available to help me work through this.

I am half way through divorce and I’ve sold my house with a decent deposit for a new home. I have met someone new and I am living with him because at the time I moved in, I was forced to leave my family home because of social services involvement and I left because I was scared for my children’s safety at the time.

My boyfriend inherited his mums house owning 50% of it, we had talk of me buying 25% (his sisters share), and his brother who lives there owns the other 25%. However, over the months, I have become very unhappy living there, due to various factors and I dont feel at home there. This has made me long for my own space. I therefore started to look for a new place to buy, this was either with three possibilities:

1. I buy this property and live there with my kids (I still want to be with my boyfriend)

2. Buy this property with my boyfriend and rent it out and use it as an additional income for us both but continue to live with my boyfriend

3. Buy the 25% share of his property and continue to live there, so we can sell it later and I’ll make a profit.

I am torn, completely torn as I love him so much and obviously I want to be with him and we’ve lived together now for 9 months so it would be a step back (though I dont think so as we would still see eachother all the time). I’m scared because I know that I need my own place for my mental wellbeing and that of my kids but I don’t want this to end our relationship.

[Just me 678Participant]

Have you tried wikivorce helpline yet

[KellyjayParticipant]

Hello ☺.

Option 1 is screaming out to me.

Option 4. Sell his 50% of his house and you two buy a house together.

It’s lovely he gave you a home but it seems financially messy and hard to get out of if you invest in his ☺ x

[Chez86Participant]

Thanks….any more input, I’m at a complete loss here. Cant make up my mind.

[KellyjayParticipant]

Please please think about yourself 😘 xx

[TeaandcakeParticipant]

I think you should choose option 1. I was kind of in the same position. I bought a house for me and my daughter and as much as I love my bf, he’s not allowed to live with us yet! I feel I needed to do it on my own for financial and emotional reasons, but the number one reason was for my daughter. She had enough to deal with not living with her daddy anymore. I didnt feel it was right she have to deal with living with someone else as well. Trust your gut. Plus the other options sound super messy!

[Chez86Participant]

Thanks everyone. I am so desperate in this situation and your input literally means the world to me.

[Chez86Participant]

Any more advice please….

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

I think that you need to focus on security for you and your children. To me that would be buying alone. There’s nothing to say in the future he couldn’t move in permanently and rent out some of his home.

 

The home was lovely to be offered, but do you really want your finances entwined with a boyfriend and his sibling?! That has potential to be a worse nightmare than an ex husband!

[Ali.saaParticipant]

Hey there

Firstly, I want to ask you , don’t limit yourself on three options, of course you can find best solutions to have your own home and your boyfriend.

Secondly, i think if you are going to buy a new place why you want to share with your boyfriend’s inheritance!

Again I am suggesting to not limit yourself with that three options.

I think it’s better to talk with him and find a solution.

You can buy a better place if he can sell the 50% otherwise it’s better to buy a new place by your deposit rather than living on a uncomfortable place!

Hope you can find a good way to get both

Home and your boyfriend 🙂

[Chez86Participant]

Thanks for your advice. Everyone I’ve spoken to say I should get a place for me and the kids (though this is my friends) I am happy to receive non biased responses because although my heart says I should do this, i want to make sure I’m doing the right thing.

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