What is the next step

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  • #50631 Report


    Hi, I have been married for 17years we have 3 girls (15,11,8) my husband and I had been living like roommates for several years – I don’t know when or why it happened… It just did. He works all the time – self employed. And he would even work on days offs and even when we were on holiday he would still answer the phone and sort stuff out. Then after a disagreement about dog food (it’s always the silly stuff) he then said that he felt the marriage had been over for the past 8 years! He also said that I just seen him as a bank balance and a house…. Understandably, I was hurt. I took the rest of the evening to think things through… I then sat down with him the next night and said that I wanted him to move out… He didn’t say anything.. Then the next few days he just went around the house ignoring me. Then on Monday he went to work as usual but then called my 15yrs old to get her to sort out bedding and clothing for him… I obviously sorted it out myself and then when he called her a second time she didn’t answer as she was doing school work – I decided to call him and ask him what he wanted. This started a little argument because I was being nice and amicable and he obviously didn’t want to move out. But what did he expect me to say after being told that the marriage was over for the entire life of my youngest daughter !?

    So, now I know I have to sort out the bills etc into my name. And we rent so I also need to tell the landlord about this too. I also know that I have to sort out the universal credits etc.

    I work 14hrs a week at the local shop. So I am on minimum wages…

    What is my next step? My husband is sleeping in his office at the moment.. As I think he thinks I am going to change my mind. But I definitely don’t want to be married to him anymore!



    Any help and advice would be appreciated xx

    #50650 Report


    🙁 There are so many crazy husbands around.🙁

    #50675 Report


    Hi Daisy79

    In a similar situation, we’ve not been a ‘together’ couple for ages now & have both decided it’s just not working anymore. I’m looking for a new house, he’s staying in the one we have now. It is a doer upper & I just don’t want to take that on as we have 4 young children, youngest is 3. It’s all very amicable though, we’ve talked money as similar to yourself he is always at work, I’m part time & have taken a backseat when a career is concerned as he’s built up his business obviously whilst I’ve been bringing up the children… I feel a sense of relief if I’m honest, we’ve not got on very well for such a long time, I feel ready to get my life back & move on & more importantly be happy!

    I’d say sit tight for now, maybe speak to citizens advice for some help & support on what happens next x

    #50795 Report


    Hi Roxygirl,

    Thanks for replying. I was beginning to think that I was going crazy…

    Today has been a bit of a tough one… Today, my husband has taken 2 of the girls out as the oldest one had to work. It was very strange. Earlier, I had a conversation with him about what we are doing etc. And it hurt to hear him tell me that he doesn’t feel loved by me especially since everything I’ve ever done has been for him and the girls! So, I decided to pack up some of his clothes since there is no time like the present to start sorting stuff out- especially since he’s made it abundantly clear that it is truly over.

    The one thing that sucks the most about all of this is that I have moved out here from Canada. (albeit 10 years ago) And my entire family and most of my friends are out there. So getting that hug from my mom is not possible! 😞

    I really appreciate your response. I will call citizens advice on Monday when the kids are back in school!

    I hope you can get things sorted on your end too.. Xx

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