What happens if 12 yr old refuses to see other parent but there is a court order

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  • #51857 Report

    Ladycj40
    Participant

    Good day

    I am going through a court case put through by my ex last yr in regards to child arrangements. My 12 yr old doesn’t want to see her dad anymore and he has taken me to court because of this but he has fabricated everything and lied through his teeth saying I am the reason and alienating her and stopping her from going. Oh and I have mental health issues ?!?  I have done nothing but encourage her to see him but she refuses. We have our last court case in May. My concern is if she doesn’t want to go we can’t force her but what happens to me if the court order is broken by her not wanting to go and him taking me back to the courts. He has lied and lied and lied. She didn’t want to see him one weekend last yr and all of a sudden he took me to court. Which has made her hate him now as she has been interviewed by CAFCASS who were pretty harsh on her and I’ve been making her see him for an hour fortnightly due to the recommendations of Cafcass. I’m scared if she doesn’t see him I could end up in prison

    #51871 Report

    warwickshire1
    Participant

    Where do handovers take place at moment?   All you can do is keep encouraging contact and try and make sure she has a relationship with her dad. It maybe if she isnt wanting to go that either you or her dad asks why and see what her reasons are . It is natural for dad to have stated things without necessarily lying. He is clearly upset and wanting to see daughter and holding you responsible hence why he is making accusations.

    If it puts your mind at rest you will never go to prison, but lets hope your daughter can see her dad again soon.  Surely u could maybe encourage more than a hour every 2 weeks . Theres school holidays coming up. In a few years time if things are that bad she can make her mind up and decide for herself  if she sees her dad or not

    #51921 Report

    Hi

    I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here.

    As a reminder to all Members, we ask that advice is not instructive.  Whilst sharing personal experiences is acceptable, we often find that directive advice given within the forum, particularly in the legal realm fails to account for individual circumstances and does very often differ significantly from legislation. This risks other Members taking wrong action with regards to their own cases.  Please view the community guidelines below for further details around this issue:

    Gingerbread Forum – user guidelines – Gingerbread

    Should any Member have questions that require professional guidance, we would advise that they seek support via an appropriate professional service, where guidance will be given in line with current legislation.

    Please view the information pages within the Gingerbread website for advice and links to relevant services.

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    Kind regards

    Michelle

    #51922 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    If a child does not want to see his or her parent.If the child is scared. This is not health for the child. This is again a form of child abuse.

    #51923 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    This is from the NSPCA website:

    Domestic abuse is any type of controlling, bullying, threatening or violent behaviour between people in a relationship. It can seriously harm children and young people and witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse. It’s important to remember domestic abuse:

    <ul class=”highlight” style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 1.25rem 0rem 0px 2em; padding: 0px; list-style: none; color: #525455; font-family: sans-serif; background-color: #fafafa;”>
    <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0.4375rem 0rem 0.3125rem 1.5625rem; background-position: left 14px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-image: url(‘/images/css/list-bullet-1.png’);”>can happen inside and outside the home
    <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0.4375rem 0rem 0.3125rem 1.5625rem; background-position: left 14px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-image: url(‘/images/css/list-bullet-2.png’); margin-top: 10px;”>can happen over the phone, on the internet and on social networking sites
    <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0.4375rem 0rem 0.3125rem 1.5625rem; background-position: left 14px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-image: url(‘/images/css/list-bullet-3.png’); margin-top: 10px;”>can happen in any relationship and can continue even after the relationship has ended
    <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0.4375rem 0rem 0.3125rem 1.5625rem; background-position: left 14px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-image: url(‘/images/css/list-bullet-4.png’); margin-top: 10px;”>both men and women can be abused or abusers.

    #51924 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    It can continue even if the relationship has ended, on the phone, internet, email, in person. Contact should be supervised if a parent has been abusive to their partner or their children. The child should not be forced into meeting with the parent if they are scared or does not want it. Children need to be safeguarded.

    #51931 Report

    Bright Diamond 4345
    Participant

    I have the same problems, my child has told the other parent doesn’t want to be there as much and child was told by other parent that nothing will change and forget it!. It is difficult to listen to as a Mum. I am waiting until my children can walk with their own mind and make their own decisions as dealing with the liar I do is very draining and endless. I am dealing with a narcissist and a liar. I do feel the courts are not looking at the bigger picture for children just what the black and white text says and change is difficult.

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