What does single parent dating look like?

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  • #40083 Report

    Rogerpaul
    Participant

    So I’ve been a single dad for almost two years now. I feel like I need to go put myself out there again but I’m worried that most women will just walk away when I bring up that I already have a son. Would any of you care to share some experience on what it was like returning to dating after having a child?

    #40086 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    At the moment no one is going out on dates due to covid!!

    Suggest you try meetup groups, as it seems to attract single lonely people !!

    #40094 Report

    Belsey
    Participant

    Hello.

    I found dating again nerve wrecking as my self confidence had taken a battering whilst living with my now ex.
    I joined an online dating site and chatted to a few people online before meeting anyone in person. I arranged a babysitter so I could go on a few dates.

    My view was if the other person didn’t like the idea of me having a child they were not for me.

    #40098 Report

    Mijulie
    Participant

    I have been on and off internet dating sites for the last 20 years. Most ask you if you have children, and if they live with you FT or PT. That means that people self eliminate so you’ll only hear from people who re Ok with your parenting set up. I have never found it difficult to get dates, and have made some brilliant friends, and had some lovely relationships as a result. Put yourself out there and I’m sure you’ll find someone lovely as a result. There are lots of single mums on dating sites, and another single parent will certainly get that your kids come first, and  be flexible enough to understand that. The great thing about internet dating just now is that you have time to get to know someone gently before you rush to meet up. My advice would be to not hold back, and go find the love you deserve.

    #40202 Report

    Pesto
    Participant

    Any single dating sites (relationship orientated) in the uk especially for parents?

    #40384 Report

    SingleT
    Participant

    Hi Rogerpaul

    I joined a dating site and on the whole had a positive experience. There is a place where you can write some blurb, and I made it clear my child lives with me full time so if that’s not for someone that’s fine, just don’t get in touch.

    Give it a try. As Mijulie says, at the moment you have chance to find your feet while we’re all in lockdown.

    Good luck x

    #40390 Report

    Bongo2390
    Participant

    I joined POF and I just kept getting messages from weirdos and only after one thing. I explained on my profile that I had a child and that she comes forsrt and that I only wanted genuine interest only but still got time wasters so I give up with dating sites. I don’t get chance to go out and only place I cpuld go on my own is the pub and I barely drink so I just give up with relationships! I’ve had alot of bad luck in the past and been through an abusive relationship and I met him on a dating site so never again.

    #40402 Report

    Coxy2k7
    Participant

    haven’t got the confidence to even try dating at the moment

    #40430 Report

    jak
    Participant

    Hi Mate,

    First of all I’m a guy, so you’re getting it straight from the horses mouth. I have a 10yr old daughter that I see half n half with her mum. Online dating is completely different for women.

    It all depends??? If you’re like me e.g. average looking and only going to be attracted to women who you know are at your same level (I judge this from my previous relationships) you have to take online dating with a pinch of salt and not too serious because it is based on pure looks! (which in all honesty I don’t, I take it really personal, I’ve been speaking to a woman for about 4wks during lockdown, we met a couple of times, social distanced, on the second time she said she would message me, never heard from her!!! This is happened a good few times over the last 4yrs). At the end of the day it’s a pure numbers game and depends how patient and committed you are and a bit of luck?

    On the other hand, if you’re like my mate, who’s good looking, slim, financially solvent and when he wants the same in a woman he’ll get himself ripped. I’ve honestly known him to have a different woman every month and he’s late forties!! We live 3hrs away from each other, so when we meet up, we can sit and message the same women and it’s guaranteed he’ll receive at least twice as many replies as me. Although, I remember getting a photo took in a really nice car and putting it on the dating site just to see how many messages I got and actually decent looking women started messaging me! So, that does seem to work, but I don’t have the money to buy the car lol.

    So, most of the women (I know as I’ve asked my women friends and even women when I’ve met them) are inundated with messages from guys and most are so naive that they chat and meet with the good looking guys, but most of these guys are just looking for a s..g, like my mate! So, it’s a never ending cycle for them as most of the guys are already in relationships!!! That’s why they’re only looking for sex and most of the mature women are actually content being single.

    My situation is unique as I moved to a place where I’ve no family or friends. If I was in my home town, I’d definitely be in a relationship now, but my daughter comes first! If you’re in your home town, you’ve got it made mate, do both, online and through friends, friends of friends, groups etc, you’re almost guaranteed to find someone as someone will know of you, and that’s a hell of a lot easier.

    Re: Your Son, I would throw caution to the wind, it can work either way. It all depends how old you are and how old your son is? I’m late forties, so basically most of the women at my age have grown up children and they don’t want little kiddies running around their feet anymore (yes, one woman did actually message me that, even though my daughter is 10!). It doesn’t really matter if you’re younger as most women will accept other child(ren), (that’s from my own personal experience as I’ve grown up kids now from when I was in my early twenties) so in that case I would see if they already have kids, if so, I wouldn’t necessarily mention your son straight away, but wait until they ask or slip in a sentence about your son after a few messages.

    Let me know how you get on?

     

    #40463 Report

    Rogerpaul
    Participant

    Thank you all for the advice. Jak, to answer your questions I’m 28. The dating thing has a bit of extra challenge with it cuz I still live wish my son’s mom,  though in all honesty that hasn’t stopped her from dating.  She’s had 4 boyfriends since we broke up last year,  with one of them coming over to the house regularly. I’ve  got some good things going for me,  I’m building a successful stock portfolio and I can play guitar like you wouldn’t believe. And yet even with my attempts at real world flirting and online dating nothing has panned out so far. The last 2 women I tried getting numbers from actually thought I was gay lol, never knew I projected that vibe,  go figure.

    Thanks again everyone,  take care be safe!

    #40466 Report

    Jsmoove
    Participant

    Just do it mate,u never know wats around the corner,u r still young mate give it a go,don’t sell your self short take risks and live with no regrets

    #40478 Report

    Never give up on finding your soul mate

    #40480 Report

    Lovingmummy
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m a single mum with an 8 year old daughter, got divorced over 5 years ago, and after some time tried to get into a new relationship with a man who had a child as I thought we would kind of be on the same page in terms of thinking about responsibilities, life and etc. Although I was having the same fears that no one would want to date me when I’m already a mum. I found someone through online dating, but it didn’t work… Now having a long break but still believe that my dream of having a big loving family with more children and maybe a couple of dogs will come true! (Am I too naive?) We build our own lifes, the most important is to recognise what we really want and what kind of partner is right for us. It’s never easy with ex partners to arrange visits to see children and stuff, so I have ups and downs too!

    #40492 Report

    Alfieb3ar
    Participant

    Love that reply Jak, btw I’m a women in her 40s who has a 2 and 7year old running round my feet. There are so many different situations out there. If a relationship is what you want I’d say put yourself out there.good luck !my 7 year old struggles going to his dads he misses me whatever I say to reassure him so dating way off for me. I don’t think it’s naive to want your happy ever after .

    #42173 Report

    It won’t be smooth as before but having said that , stay positive, healthy,open minded and optimistic , the rest will come by itself

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)

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