What do I say??

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum What do I say??

This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Nicci 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #25208 Report

    Oneproudmama
    Participant

    Hi everybody 👋

    I had my son after a very short relationship, found out he was in another relationship etc. I’ve been raising my son alone the past 4 years. My son has suddenly started asking about his ‘dad’. I’ve tried explaining that me and his dad are not together and he lives far so we can’t see him (ex had never seen son and can’t be asked to as too much of a bother for him). Son keeps asking when his dad will pick him up from school and that just breaks my heart. What do I say to my son? I don’t want him growing up feeling unwanted. He’s my heartbeat.

    #25211 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    Hello.

    Don’t they just pull on your heart strings!

    Maybe explain that all families are different and special and he is very lucky as has a mummy that loves him very very much. I’m sure there must be an age appropriate book you could read to him that would help him realise it’s a very normal thing.

    He is just processing what he is seeing as I guess other dad’s are in the playground, good he is being open about things.

    Take care

    #25214 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hi, I can imagine how hard on the heartstrings it must be.

    Singleparents.org.uk has a recommended book list to help children with this (I’m sorry gingerbread team for talking about another site. Your wonderful but maybe it’s something you could think about for the gingerbread site?)

    Mark

    #25222 Report

    Oneproudmama
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind words. Will definitely look at books and the website.

    #25243 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi, My son did that after he started school at 4.  The problem was that the children all share details and he didn’t know what to say, so he felt awkward & sad.

    So I created a little “profile” of things – that were all true – that helped him with details to share.

    So daddy was called “Fred”, he played tennis, hated chocolate, liked Manchester Utd, had brown hair, was tall & skinny, did something clever with computers and lived a long way away.

    It was enough for a few years because son and friends accepted it as enough.

    It might be worth a try.

    #25258 Report

    Oneproudmama
    Participant

    Hi Kathy

    Thanks for that suggestion, I hadn’t thought about it. Oh why do they get bigger and clever kikikikiki.

    #25385 Report

    Nicci
    Participant

    Honesty is the best policy at an age appropriate level. That is how I’ve handled it. Similar situation as you. You don’t want him to resent you as he gets older as you haven’t been honest.

    #25386 Report

    Nicci
    Participant

    Honesty is the best policy at an age appropriate level. That is how I’ve handled it. Similar situation as you. You don’t want him to resent you as he gets older as you haven’t been honest. But still saying daddy loves you very much.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

Log in or register to reply to this thread

Log In Register