We have ended our relationship but we are stuck living together

[Bluemama21]

My husband wants to end our marriage yet isnt doing much to move forward with him moving out and us moving on. He says we are in to much debt to seperate just yet.

So we haven’t told the kids yet and are carrying on as normal for face sake. But we are getting on very well and this upsets me as I feel we both need to move through the separation process and him still living here is holding us back. But I’m also enjoying that he hasnt left yet. I know our relationship is over I just think I’m liking him not moving out yet cause it’s a safer option.

Would love for some support and advice

[Morgane75]

Hi bluemama

its a tough one isn’t it – really hard for you 🙁 im

in a similar situation and feeling similar to you. The best way I’ve found so far is to treat our relationship as just co-parents and business partners as much as it hurts. That way I can still be there and normal for the kids but detach myself gently from our old relationship. While he’s still living there take advantage of the support he hopefully offers by letting him take the kids for a while so you can work on your own self care. Wishing you lots of love and strength x

[Bluemama21]

Thanks for your reply.  It is tough and draining pretending.

We are good co parents and always have the same views when parenting which I guess that a relief.  But you are right I need to change my frame of mind and see it more as two people looking after their kids together.

I’m up and down still and worry when he does move out I will fall apart

I do hope your well and your situation works out for the best. Sending love and strength 🤗

[Morgane75]

Totally sympathise with you worrying about falling apart when he goes 🙁 me too! I’m blessed to have family and friends I can lean on so I’m hoping that and my own inner strength will be enough 🤞 the future does feel very bleak right now.

im a big fan of self help stuff and have found some good supportive resources online – they’re American so some differences in the way they do things practically but the advice is good anyway: SAS for women and Divorce & other things I can handle.

Such a tough time but we can get through it ❤️

 

[Bluemama21]

Yes I think I will really need to lean on family and friends for sure.

Yes I lovd self help. I’ve been listening to post casts and reading up as much as I can.

 

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