I haven’t seen my daughter for 11months. I was falsely accused of something I didn’t do and I’ve been fighting for contact with my little girl since January 2021. Last week I was given weekly video contact with my daughter and its been extremely emotional. I’m a young man and I cried after seeing my daughter for the first time in nearly a year. I’m now being told to not show any sad emotions by mine and her solicitor in regards to the video contact we have. It drives me crazy that as a man we are told to suppress our emotions and now im being told to do the same by solicitors. Really struggling and wish I was strong enough to just hide my emotions, but in January I was suicidal because I was ripped from my family and my daughter and the only thing that kept me going was my little girl. Wish I was strong enough to just hide my emotions but ive really struggled this past year.
I was told similar things by my solicitor when going through the family courts. It’s not just men… Crying is looked on very negatively!
I knew a family court magistrate in a different context- she was the most peculiarly heartless and emotionally disconnected parent I’ve ever seen – a total wierdo… but sadly this seems to be what is expected by family courts.
Can you make sure you have someone else to lean on, right before or after the video calls? To give you the strength to handle them as calmly as possible.
You will get a better outcome in the long run if you go along with their advice, even if you have different views.
Also, as time goes and hopefully the calls become more regular, I think you will find it easier to make your time together more about your daughter and less about you. It’s going to be more rewarding the more you can make space for her thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences. What makes a parent-child relationship so special is that it isn’t a symmetrical one.
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