Vengeful child

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    So I have a 6 year old step son, I’ve been with his mum for over 3 years so he’ll unlikely remember a time we weren’t together.

    He’s a lovely boy, however I’m growing increasingly concerned. More and more he’s behaving very spoilt, defiant and aggressive. If he’s told no about anything he lashes out. But it’s not a tantrum, he’s very calculated. Last night he was told he can’t have his brothers 2 litre bottle of coke all to himself. So he poured the whole lot in the sink. When that didn’t illicit the response he wanted, he picked up his mums dinner and threw it in the bin, plate n’all. When he was told to stop it he took his glass sculpture and threw it at the one day old family TV. (£1300 on Black Friday)

    So everything I’ve read so far says the child is in pain and has feelings of worthlessness, therefore trying to even the scales with revenge. Often very violent.

    It’s worth noting, when I met them I noticed that when we went out for dinner he was allowed to just take food from everyone else’s plates. He insisted on the most or best of his older siblings food/toys etc. He’s the youngest child and he’s a real unit so it actually hurts when he kicks and punches. Mostly his mum.

    I struggle to believe the theory of feeling worthless, he is by far the priority of the family, far too often to the detriment of his older siblings.

    not sure what to do, I believe the older kids will retreat to their rooms even more now there’s no tv which is not good, they’re great kids and it’s hard enough peeling them off their games for quality time. At least when we watch tv we can talk and get homework done etc.

    He’s not so bad when he’s just with me, but he is getting braver in exacting his revenge and I’m worried.

    any advice is welcome, truth his I think his mum is scared of him, the vast majority of effort is appeasing him to avoid the conflict.


    #33637 Report

    Ruby – moderator

    Hi RobBob,

    Thanks for your post. Young Minds may be able to help you explore the issues you’re having. You can call them on 08088025544 from Monday to Friday at 9:30am to 4 pm.

    Best wishes,




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