Ups and downs of separation

[Kanger1Participant]

So my ex has moved out today, just under 3mths since he announced it etc. Didn’t expect it to feel like back to day 1 in January though. Emotions are a menace and get you when you least expect it. It doesn’t help that our puppy has been rehomed this week too – its all a bit much 🙁  full on single parenting officially starts today! (He will only be having her 2 separate nights a week). Very scary stuff…all single parents I speak to or read about seem very strong though, looking forward to reaching that point too 🙂 power to the single parent and everything we go through 🙂

[GreenfingersParticipant]

Hey kanger1

I remember the intermittent feeling of overwhelming responsibility too, 3 children to care for, working almost full time, the meals, the routine, the financial stress at single handedly managing everything but I did it, loads on here do and you will too. You’ve just got to find your flow, get organised and start planning for your future. Do you have any goals set?

[GirlFridayParticipant]

Hi Kanger1, thought i would check in again with you.  My move was down to the wire last week with way too much to explain, however we are now out!  I have spent the last week feeling very relieved its all over and the last physical memories of my marriage were wrapped up in that house so I did have a cry when i was mopping the kitchen floor.  I spent most of move day in a trance and only with the help of M&D was I able to do what i needed to.  As DD hasn’t seem her dad for almost 6 months I am trying to keep things on an even keel for DD and things have definitely improved between us in the last couple of weeks.  You are stronger than you know, I didn’t think I was until I look back and wonder how I have coped with everything thats happened.  My work has been my salvation & the people I am with have kept me sane.  Venting on here helps sometimes & I actually sat down yesterday afternoon and read a book – which is an achievement with all the anxiety I have been suffering.  Looking forward to ‘nesting’ and making a new house a home now xx

[dad2019Participant]

Yet to decide on what happens … still sharing the house but its fraught.   I don’t want to move out as it will be the beginning of seeing the kids much much less, at least 50% less. The reply is but you’ll have quality time … which totally misses the point … its less time, full stop.  OMG…

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  dad2019. Reason: wanted notification

[./Participant]

You’ll definitely have up an down days.  Try not to be alone with your thoughts on the down days, even if it’s just connecting to others on this forum, or phoning a friend.  On the good days make them count….do something for you no matter how small, but give yourself that time.

You certainly will get there, I know you’ve been finding this hard… this is just a milestone in the journey and each one can make everything that seems a blur suddenly feel very real.  It does take time to settle in but you will get to a good place.  Hang in there. 🙂

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