UNIVERSITY AND REMARRIAGE/LIVING WITH PARTNER

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  • #30407 Report

    sus100
    Participant

    HI, new to all this so hello!

    Im confused, really really confused, peed off and fed up if I am honest.

    My 18 year old has gone off to uni, yay for him, yay for me!  SUPER PROUD MUM!

    I have 2 other kids, 15 & 8 and who knows if they will want to attend uni or not but Im going to say for arguments sake they will.  I have a partner, we don’t live together as he still has his 2 kids home with him and its just not feasible for us all to be together just now.

    HOWEVER!!  It has come to my attention that if we move in together he, MY PARTNER, becomes liable for MY SONS education… ie. student loans want household income on the forms.  How can this be right?!  This man has nothing to do with my children (other than the obvious!) they all have a dad and surely its up to their biological father to be interrogated and made to fund this!??!

    If all my kids go to uni I will be nearly 60 before I could remarry or god forbid HAVE A LIFE?!?!

     

    Anyone out there have any information on this??

    Much appreciated xx

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by sus100.
    #30410 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    I know it’s on household income and it makes no sense to me either.

    I have a young son and if I live with someone, the child benefit I receive would depend on household income, again regardless of parental responsibility.

    weird govt thinking. Why use one house when you could use two?  I’ve decided to stay single until my son is grown.

    #30518 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hi,

    Just to put a different spin on things if someone were to move in with me from my point of view they would be joining my family unit, I wouldn’t think that the girl only has a connection with me, I’d want her to be part of my son’s life, certainly not a replacement for his mum as his mum is very active in his life and will always be his mum but a lovely addition to his life in the form of step mum. I’d hope that if she were working she would contribute financialy and can’t see any reason why her finances wouldn’t be include in the household finances. I wouldn’t think of her as a lodger with benefits, she would be my partner.

    Mark

    #30954 Report

    sus100
    Participant

    I understand what you are saying and when kids are very young and you grow up as a blended family I see this may be more applicable (to a degree).

    However, the father/mother should be asked for their earnings, not the “step” parent.   I’d not want to pay towards his kids further education.  Their mother should be responsible for that.

    Anything household based, yes, completely, bills/food/mortgage/holidays etc. but education, no, I just don’t see it.

    It just all feels so wrong that the mother appears to be punished for moving on with her life, yet the biological fathers (however much contact they have) are not asked for earnings towards educational costs.

    #30966 Report

    Mike_71
    Participant

    It just all feels so wrong that the mother appears to be punished for moving on with her life, yet the biological fathers (however much contact they have) are not asked for earnings towards educational costs.

    It’s easy to see bias where there isn’t any. But the rules would apply the same the other way around i.e. if the children were living with their father rather than mother and having contact with the mother.

    I’m aware you aren’t suggesting bias in the courts but rather a bias in the system itself. There is a school of thought, strongly supported by various lobby groups, that if anything there is a skew in favour of mothers rather than fathers.

    But, as the old argument goes, if both sides complain equally …then the system must be fair 😉

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