Unhappyily married and feeling depressed.what do i do?

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  EmmaJ84 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #34033 Report

    James34
    Participant

    Im 34 with 3 children. Me and the wife have been married 13 years. And im struggling with daily life. As Im disabled it makes everything twice as hard. Im finding it hard living with my wife and i dont know what to do for the best. We have a few arguments like every couple.  She tells me she doesnt like driving so i have to run the kids around to clubs. But if one of her family want to go somewhere or she wants to go out she will drive no matter where it is.

    I have thought about a divorce a few times but i dont want to upset the kids. So not sure what to do for the best.

    I think being single would be best for me as when im alone or when its just me and the kids i feel great. But when the  wife is with me i feel down and depressed.

    #34035 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    Have you tried sitting down with her and having a really honest conversation about how you feel? You need to be frank and candid about what you’re feeling, and then maybe there would be a way to resolve it. Do you love your wife? Because if you do I think your marriage is definitely worth fighting for.

     

    #34036 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Being a single parent is difficult even on ideal situation.

    I don’t recommend to do that, but as Emma mentioned before, it’s better to sit with your wife and find a good way to go on.

    Your children’s need both of you, believe me it’s a hard work!

    #34041 Report

    James34
    Participant

    Thanks for  the reply.

    I have tried talking to her before but she cant see anything wrong.

    She always says that she will change things but the next day everything id back to the same old routine and she never changes.

     

    And when i do try and bring it up again she just says im moaning and then goes off in strop until shes calmed down again.

    #34042 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    Its a really difficult one.I think tell her straight, you’re thinking of leaving and unless it changes you’ll have no other option. Do you think she’s happy in the marriage? I honestly think open communication is the only way to resolve it, and if you can say you’ve tried everything on your part then maybe it’s time to leave. But you both need to sit, without any kids or distractions and have a calm, adult conversation if you can. I hope you can resolve it. Marriage is hard work, and even the happiest of relationships go through tough times. I say this as someone who had a happy marriage but sadly my husband wasnt prepared to work or fight when we hit our first rough patch.

    #34045 Report

    James34
    Participant

    we have hit many rough patches. And i have tried talking with her many times and i have told her how i feel but as i said nothing has changed. Only reason i havent left already is because of the kids which i feel im only here for them now as i dont want to upset them or for them to resent me in anyway.

     

    My oldest can see how the wife treats me and the way she talks to me and i think he knows how i feel as she doesnt help me do anything.

     

    #34047 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    Well I think you know the answer to your original question then dont you…..

    It’s sad but sometimes the best thing to do is separate. Maybe wait until the Christmas period is over though, for the kids sake.

    #34050 Report

    James34
    Participant

    oh yes i would do that anyway. I wouldnt do it before christmas.

    Still dont know the best way to go tho.as i cant just up and walk out and as i said she not the confrontation type

    #34053 Report

    EmmaJ84
    Participant

    That is something you’ll have to think about and decide the best way to play it depending on your circumstances and the options available to you. Don’t rush or make any hasty decisions. Take your time and explore all the options you have. Make sure you have a plan in your own head before you tell her you want to separate.

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