Trying to be strong

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    emmaplustwox
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    Hello, I’ve only recently joined Gingerbread.

    I’m currently pretty much a single mum to my 6 year old. Me and her dad got together in 2009 and were pretty much on and off until she was 2. We separated and didn’t co parent very well, a lot of issues in our relationship and communication which had an impact on the way he decided to be a parent unfortunately. After a good 2/3 year break he came back into our lives at the beginning of this year and things were going good, I always wanted a sibling for my child, I have just discovered I am about a month pregnant again and very excited. But unfortunately again our relationship has started to deteriorate. My child’s dad has changed jobs and will be moving around 3 hours away in the next few weeks, he suggested we come but I don’t want to move so far away from my friends and family, especially when we aren’t getting on well again. So now I have the fear of doing this all on my own again, when I was pregnant first time round he didn’t massively help LOADS but he was still there as support and if I needed anything. He’s told me he will support me and be there when he can, but I’m not sure about his word. The thought of having scans on my own, laying there at night on my own, going through the mood swings, feeling the baby kick for the first time on my own all whilst looking after our daughter makes me feel extremely sad. I at first was ok with everything and thought “no I can do it on my own il be fine” but now the sadness and worry is taking over me. I do have a good few close friends and I’m very close to my parents but it’s not the same as having your “partner” there is it? Someone that feels for your baby exactly how you do. He’s told me he will be there for the birth, I just have to let him know “when it’s going to happen and he’ll come down” how is that certain? It could happen in a matter of hours, what if I can’t get hold of him? Any advice from anyone or anyone who is going through the same situation would be greatly appreciated, and sorry for the massive rant x

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