Trying not to lose the last part of my mind

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  • #23997 Report

    two and a half years ago i left my (now x) mentally abusive husband. He has constantly twisted, lied and manipulated every situation.. When he realised he could no longer directly affect me he moved his focus to our daughter, after time spent with him she would be like a different child and there were episodes where things she would say were not child like however matched his wording to me in texts. He has reported me out of spite to SS numerous times (including the day the divorce was finalised) despite everything i have ensured my D continued contact (even though every time i did not agree excatly as he wanted i was told i was denying him contact) he moved 300 miles away when we seperated yet everyother weekend i make half the journey to drop her off/pick her up to him because he will not travel down here. (there is so much he has done in the past since seperation that there is not the space to go into it on here. For the Easter holidays she went to stay last Saturday and was meant to be dropped off saturday, he told me he wanted her until today i responded that saturday had already been agreed, i got half way saturday to pick her up when he pointed out he had already told me he wanted her to stay until today. Then this morning arrived and he has decided that he won’t return her. There is no court order in place and because he has PR there is basically nothing i can do…. I am going out of my mind 

    #23999 Report



    It would be a good idea to ring the gingerbread team asap and get some proper advice.

    0808 802 0925, the helpline opens at 10am today.



    #24050 Report


    Yes get some proper legal advice. Bless you for making that ridiculously long journey. It’s too much, you have better things to do than travelling. Expensive too I’ll bet.

    #24061 Report

    Hi Anonymous

    I have been on the phone pretty much all day and have already printed the c100 but thankyou however my understanding from everything my frazzled brain has read through was that it wouldn’t be classed as an urgent case because shes not at risk of harm etc?

    #24084 Report


    Hi there

    Thanks for sharing your story on the forum, it sounds like a really difficult time for you.

    I’m sending you a private message with some signposts for legal help in your situation.

    Take care


    #24131 Report



    This is absolutely horrendous, I’ve been exactly where you are. My ex partner moved 80 miles away then failed to return our 2 youngest children following contact, i also contacted the police who were unable to return the children as dad has PR. I contacted the solicitor and I’m sure she sent an email requesting the immediate return of the children by a certain date/time otherwise legal proceedings would be initiated. He returned them at this point though I applied for an emergency prohibited steps order as he was due contact alternate weekends and I couldn’t risk him not returning them again. It completely broke any trust I had in him. The prohibited steps order was granted in dads absence prior to his next contact being due (within days), stopping any face to face contact. After 5-6 weeks there was another hearing where dad was present, a further prohibited steps order was granted permitting contact ‘save where agreed in writing’ confirming dates/times of return so if he didn’t return by that time, the police can step in.

    Needless to say, he refused to confirm anything in writing so had absolutely no direct contact for 9 months until the court suggested some contact in a supervised centre at his cost. We now have a child arrangement order in place so we’re back to unsupervised direct contact which is good for the kids. Hope you get this resolved soon xx

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