True shared care

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  • #56585 Report


    Just looking for support as I’ve just had a cafcass report that’s advised I should be awarded shared care of my 2 year old and I’ve spent the last year away from her due to the ex-mrs’ decisions.

    Ive got some good experience with the court process if anyone needs me to share, but I’m kinda looking for a few other single parents to be friends with and find out how you cope with being amicable when your ex is being acrimonious

    #56586 Report



    I am happy to hear Cafcass have recommended shared care. is it 50/50 care? This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with, a hostile ex partner. need to be very disciplined. Have to respond and not react to any communication from other side. the less contact with other parent, the better.

    #56589 Report


    Hi, best of luck! I tried the 50/50 at first, I was doing all the running around, invariably when I was picking the children up she didn’t have them ready or make sure they had all their stuff etc. I was there bang on time collecting or returning them but ended up waiting anything up to two hours. She would not let them use holdalls so they ended up bringing all their stuff for my week in shopping bags. I only communicated with her in writing (emails) so that I had a record of everything and kept a diary of all the messing around. She then decided that she didn’t like the 50/50 agreement it was too complicated and demanded that the children chose who they live with and only spend alternate weekends, she was shocked when two of them chose to live with me not her.

    She then decided to move to her home area in Northern Ireland (we were living in England) and expected to take all 3 with her, I prevented that happening through the court. All 3 stayed with me (as they had done a few years earlier when she had a manic episode) until the CAO, Cafcass interviewed the children and my son was adamant he wanted to go with her and my girls were just as adamant they wanted to stay with me. The court went with Cafcass and my son moved over to her. Turns out that when it comes to complying with the CAO which she regularly fails to do if they move to Scotland or NI it’s not worth the paper its written on. I agree with Steve in my case I keep contact to an absolute minimum and know she will never be reasonable or miss an opportunity to berate me even though she ended the relationship. Good luck and hopefully your experience will not be as bad as mine!

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