Trouble with new partner

[DadCantThinkOfAName]

Hi all

I hope someone can help because I’ve got what is a really tricky situation, but probably one that is common?

I split last year from my now Ex Wife and live with my new partner. My children are 5 and 3 and she has a 7 year old. Generally the kids play really well and get on. They have moments obv.

My new partner though absolutely hates it when my kids either moan or lose their shit about stuff. She has a very low tolerance of it. I’m talking about when they won’t share before bedtime and one gets pissy. Or if they take something the wrong way and run away crying and hide under their bed … she finds the behaviour to be problematic for her and doesn’t want it in her life.

Shes basically said, resolve their behaviour and it’ll be ok but if not then we should split. Her problem with it is that she feels the bad behaviour moments will rub off on her kid and that she can’t stand it for herself. She finds 3/4 days together with them too much.

Back in Dec 19 we’d said that if things weren’t better by June we’d call it a day and things (from her point of view) prob aren’t there yet.

any comments would be really appreciated …

[Arri]

Sounds like lots of challenges going on here. Hope you can manage to support each other as well as the children. – family breakdown, new relationships, lockdown, stop of school/nursery.

Wish you the best with moving forward

[DadCantThinkOfAName]

Thank you Arri. You too. I know we all have challenges going on.

[Mimic]

I am so sorry to hear that.. and I a know exactly how you feel because I have the same situation. I think our partners behaviour is wrong and instead of saying things like that that should help us.

[DadCantThinkOfAName]

Oh really? What’s it like at your end?

[Dustypink]

Surely your partner should be supporting you and your children, not saying resolve their behaviour or we split.

[backontheshelf]

Wow, love to know how she expects the kids bickering to be controlled, maybe she could give a masterclass so i could learn how to apply it to my children!

[Jsmoove]

Mate it’s sounds like it’s her way or the highway,if she was a loving supportive partner she would support you through thick and thin,that’s the problem in this day and age couples give up too easy and don’t fight to save there relationships as they always think the grass is greener

[DadCantThinkOfAName]

She supports in as much as she either backs me up when I’m disciplining or leaves me to it. Her thing is the “amount” and the fact it’s happening. As well as the “potential for it to rub off”.

 

My children aren’t monsters either. They are active and a little noisy but they’re 5 and 3. They do moan a bit too much and my eldest has had some moments of saying he doesn’t like me (he and I are very close) and the split was last sept so not too long ago.

 

her child is quiet and introverted and 7 so we’ve got diff parenting experiences.

[Author]

Posts