Trouble with ex

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  • #37230 Report

    FWLK20
    Participant

    Hi i have a little boy just turned 3 me and my ex partner split Oct 18 we had agreement of me having him every weekend but me and her do not get on atall after 3 months of splitting she was engaged that I accepted when I then got a gf she stopped me seeing my son 6 months ago no contact atall for his bday or xmas due to this I am going to court for 50 50 split of custody to see my son again as much as possible now in doing this it has caused me and my partner alot of stress and her alot of hurt and I dont seem to deal with thing right and my current gf says I dont treat her well because I have been stopped seeing my son.

     

    What should I do in this situation as I want to try build a new life with my partner but due to all the past issues I’m not sure she can accept my ex being any part of it anyone had issues like this as this sure as hell killing me as I want to see my son as much as possible and my gf to be happy with everything

    #37234 Report

    FWLK20
    Participant

    This has also got to the point were I have tried to commit suicide 2 times one resulting in hospitalization also my gf feelingnso.lownshe wants to end her life

    I feel in such a hard place that if I leave my gf I have put her through a nightmare for nothing and she could do something daft but if I carry on like this I will do something stupid as I normally do these days

    #37237 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Fwlk, you are absolutely right to fight to see your son. He needs his daddy. Good luck with your court action.

    You could lay some foundations with your gf now. Sit with her and explain that you have no interest in your ex but you are a parent, you love your son and you need to see him. For it to work, you need and want your girl friend’s support. But if she can’t accept that, then it is better and safer for both of you, that you stop seeing each other.

    please stay calm and know you are doing the right thing. As long as you are straight with her, you are not responsible for your gf. Good luck

     

    #37267 Report

    Spectraviolet
    Participant

    Hi,

    I am so sorry that you are feeling suicidal. Please go to your doctor and explain what is happening. The fact that you have already attempted suicide indicates you need support at the moment. Your doctor should put you in touch with a crisis team to help you through this. From what you have said, your girlfriend is also vulnerable. At this time, you both need to focus on your own difficulties. Because neither of you are currently feeling strong enough to help each other.

    Applying for custody is obviously going to be the way forward for you. But, you need to be in a good place if you are responsible for the care of your child. Otherwise, you will find it overwhelming. Do you have family you can turn to for support? The relationship with your girlfriend is new and it must be incredibly difficult for both of you to develop a loving relationship whilst you are under all this pressure.

    Have you thought about maybe seeing each other just for a date or something like that, where you can both relax. If the relationship is as intense as it appears to be, you both might find the pressure too much. How about just seeing each other at the weekend, and then just enjoying the time together?

    Once you have support from your GP, you should find it easier to deal with the custody issues. It must be so hard not to see your son. I would suggest that you ensure you are paying maintenance and meeting his needs in any way possible. Your ex partner is far more likely to cooperate with you if you are doing your share. Though you are not with your son, you are still there for your son. As he gets older, he will know that you care. But firstly, you have to ensure you will be there…that is, not ending your life! That is the most important issue….the rest will come.

    Best wishes

     

     

    #37298 Report

    Hi FWLK20

    I’m glad to see that you are chatting with other parents here on the forum.  I hope this will be of some support for you.  Please look out for a private message from me as I have some signposting details for you.

    Kind regards, Justine

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