Looking for a bit of advice . I’m a single dad who has residency of one 5 year old . My ex makes things so difficult in regards to more or less everything from maintenance, contact , schooling and communication , false allegations, and unnecessary trips and visits to a and e or out of hours gp . All of these have been investigated and found to have no basis and not taken any further It’s got to the point where I cant reason with unreasonable . Now I’ve asked for a divorce and I’ve had all the accusations of lying to everyone and in all the court hearings , and that she will agree to the divorce when I hand over residency of our child to her . Now I believe shes priming our child and getting them to say things which I think is having an effect on both of us .
How can I be expected to co parent with someone who is unwilling to engage to the same level and who’s not willing to cooperate ?
Recently read about Toxic Ex Syndrome . Is this a thing ? Any tips or different coping strategies appreciated on how to deal with this .
Wish I could help you out here. I feel that my ex is toxic, but in a sly, cunning manner. I’ve been accused of saying things I never said and she tries to bait me into arguing with her so that she can play the victim (there’s a lot more to it than this but I won’t go into that here). I didn’t know about this syndrome until I saw your reference to it, so I looked it up. Basically things like wait out the adjustment period (which I’ve read can be between 4-6 weeks) and do things to take your mind off your ex and focus on yourself. I wish it was that easy, especially when she is still in a position to screw you about and your kids are involved.
One thing I do find that helps oddly enough is listening to my own kind of music (she hated my taste in music, but she;s not here now to stop me listening to it). It’s not a permanent solution, but it helps me to deal and disassociate from what she has done, at least for a time.
As for her ‘priming your child’, that’s a big no-no. Totally out of order. I wish you the best of luck, and I’ll be watching this space to see if anyone else comes up with some useful advice about this.