Totally crushed

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  • #56051 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    Hi I’m separated from my husband 11 months & still held onto the hope that he would want to come back, that he still loved me & was just going through some mental health issues, 11 months on & I’ve just found out there is was some1 else involved & he’s still with her.. I’ve been kept in the dark this entire time. Now I know it’s deffo over & I left completely crushed with the overwhelming feeling of not being gd enough. I’ve so much hatred for this woman & I have no friends to talk it thru with so my kids r hearing an awful lot of stuff they shouldn’t so here I am writing out for adults to read. There has been a massive change in him as a person & I can’t believe he was able to act like a gd person for 11yrs then turn in2 this horrible person. I’m so hurt & feel so stupid that I hoped he would come back now knowing he was doing so much behind my back.

    #56052 Report

    twinmummy79
    Participant

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this…I’m at the start of the journey, recently my husband decided he’s “not happy” and is pushing to sell the house and make a complete break with no adjustment period or separation etc. I also feel he’s been going through depression and has never recovered mentally from a very traumatic experience during the birth of our children. I just wanted to say I think that you’re very brave for sharing your story and that I hope you can see a brighter path ahead soon. X

    #56053 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    Thank you I don’t feel brave I feel like a lunatic with no control over my emotions. I hope u get some time to adjust its so heartbreaking and scary. I had come to terms with the marriage ending but now I know why I left battling with my own self worth & self image.

    #56054 Report

    Combatfos
    Participant

    It’s going to take time to get over the reality that he’s not coming back. But he’s made his choice and you’ve got to move on. Please don’t let the children hear you bad mouth him , they don’t need to hear that , they need a healthy relationship with both parents if possible. I’ve never let mine hear what a crazy stalking dad they have because it only hurts them in the long run.

    Take it one day at a time and your confidence will soon come back, right now you’re really hurting but it won’t be forever

    #56062 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    Hi TaniaL,

    I’m sorry you’re feeling like this,it’s normal unfortunately & sadly too common.Please don’t let the righteous advice from posters as above make you feel guilty in any way.Her ex has a restraining order for life so he’s out of her hair and she’s neatly revamped herself with a new partner so she might have forgotten those first feelings of grief and desolation.It’s very normal when you don’t have a lot of support or adult company that your kids hear too much.I’m not saying it’s the best thing for them but please know it happens,you’re not the only one and when things settle a bit you will get it under control.There’s a time for everything and lots of well meaning people will tell you kids are ‘resilient’….🙄 so don’t worry too much about that for now.My sage advice-as I’ve been there done that- would be just take one day at a time,one problem at a time.Between that and trying to stay sane you will have enough to do! Wishing you lots of mental strength,we need it🤔💗

    #56077 Report

    Combatfos
    Participant

    Correct I am over it and hopefully the poster will get over it eventually too. It takes time. Like I said one day at a time 😏

    #56078 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    Thank you for ur advice I’m know this will pass I’ve been here before & it passed, my kids r amazing wee people & have gone thru a break up at such an early stage of their life (he wouldn’t see or speak to them for 3 months) I have totally accepted the relationship is over I don’t even recognise who he is anymore, I want a divorce but can’t afford it, which is so frustrating. It’s who he has cheated on me with I hate her (there’s history there) . I know I’m better of without him 100% but It still hurts. She’s younger skinner and prettier but a horrible person as this is not the 1st marriage she has broken up. Just hurts he was able to throw it all away for what seems like ‘better sex’.

    #56079 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    It really does hurt.Mostly probably that you were married and gave so many years to someone you thought was on the same page as you.Makes one begin to question everything.

    #56085 Report

    Combatfos
    Participant

    Oh Tania, that is awful what he has done to you ,  to be cheated on is just the worst. Horrible man doesn’t deserve you anyway! You’ve got three great children like you said who are your world , concentrate on being the best mum you can be. Yeh she may be skinnier and younger but look at what she’s done to others, he will be questioning what she’s capable of forever! Not a nice girl is she !

    #56090 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    Why is Combatfos on this site if ‘she'(?) Is not a single parent or bringing up kids alone?

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

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