Threats to reduce contact time

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  • #53411 Report

    JackM
    Participant

    I’m new to the forum (hi!) but wondering if anyone can give me some advice… I’ve been separated for a couple of years, we’ve had childcare arrangements in place for a while which has been ok. I’ve just had a load of increasingly nasty emails from my ex wife over her wanting more money (I’ve offered to pay half of all the kids’ activities, already paying for one but youngest will be starting swimming soon), and now had a threat that she will stop me having the kids on one of my weekdays. I don’t know if the email exchange was just a pretext to take away some of my time with the kids but I don’t know what I can do about it, my youngest (5yo daughter) loves being here and it’s her that’s going to be most affected… is there anything I can do other than try and get a court order? Very grateful for any advice! Thank you

    #53417 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    it seems she may change arrangements whenever it suits her. Child contact and money are 2 separate issues. that’s the way the courts see it. do you pay your ex by private arrangement? you could pay £20 and open a case with Child maintenance service. They will work out an amount for you to pay each month, and you pay that amount. nothing more, nothing less. about the child contact problems you may be better off  getting a court order. you could self-represent and save on legal fees. also if that order states how many nights the children stay with you, you send that order to CMS and they will reduce your maintenance based on number of nights the kids stay with you.

    #53420 Report

    JackM
    Participant

    Thanks Steve. Yes I already pay via CMS (have done since we split), it’s about a voluntary payment – but I’ve already offered to pay half for all the activities… it’s really upsetting tbh, she’s already taken the Friday off my weekend with the kids (only have them Sat morning to Sunday). Even more frustrating now as one of my boys lives with me full time so it’s important for him to have time with his siblings. Just wondered if there’s a way to deal with it quickly as I’m guessing court orders take time (and get expensive)…

    #53421 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    you might be able to get £500 voucher for mediation. check if your eligible: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme

     

    #53422 Report

    JackM
    Participant

    We’ve gone through mediation before. She didn’t like the outcome and said she’d felt “bullied” so not sure it would be worth going back down that road… but thanks for the reply and the link.

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