The outcome

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  • #39094 Report

    Ninamac19
    Participant

    Hiya,

     

    I am currently pregnant with my first child. Ill be 25 when the baby is due. The dad isn’t sure if he wants to be involved with the baby or not. But either way I’ll be  a single parent as he was never my boyfriend.

    I just want to know how hard this will really be being  a single mum. What should my expectations be?  I’m not overly pleased about the pregnancy but all I can do now is just be excited. But I’m worried about how my life is now going to be. Any advice would be grateful

    #39139 Report

    Lorraine123
    Participant

    Hi. I split up from my partner before my baby was born. It does change your life but it was honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I was very unsure about how I would cope on my own as the father was never a part of his life but from the moment I saw my baby I knew he was the only thing that mattered. It is scary but also amazing. Be excited and enjoy it.

    #39140 Report

    Ninamac19
    Participant

    Thank you. This really has put my mind at ease. I’m just scared of how my life is going to turn out as I never planner for children in my future.!

    #39144 Report

    backontheshelf
    Participant

    NinaMac the truth is no-one knows what being a parent is like, let alone a single parent until it happens and everyone finds different highs and lows. I for one didn’t have an amazing sense of love when I first saw my first child…but that may have been the drugs from the operation! so don’t feel bad if you don’t get that immediately.  I did feel a sense of responsibility and duty to the little mite and the more time I spent with him the more feelings I had. I have found parenting to be ever changing and one minute you think ‘wtf have I done, I have no idea what to do’ to the next thinking ‘I’m bossing this’. I think the one thing that no one really mentioned to me is that from the moment they are born, you worry, are you feeding them enough? is this normal? are they feeding enough? and let me tell you that I have realised that the worries will never go away, they just change because you never want to see your child hurt either physically or emotionally. Those worries are normal and you have to find your own way and that is the same whether you are a single parent or not. Roll with it and ride out the bumps knowing they won’t last forever and when someone calls you mummy and looks to you for comfort or praise or you can see them gaining in confidence it is a lovely feeling.

    #39145 Report

    Ninamac19
    Participant

    @backontheshelf, thank you for your reply. I took the morning after pill and still fell pregnant so I feel like I was just meant to have this baby.  I’m only 7 weeks so it is early days but it’s been a bad pregnancy so far. I just worry about the sleepless nights and lack of sleep in general. I also have a golden retriever on my own too, so I’ll basically have two kids to cared or on my own. I have an amazing family who will support me as much as they can, but I just feel a bit overwhelmed with how my life is going to change!

    #39151 Report

    Lorraine123
    Participant

    Hi. Things never work out the way you think they will but that doesn’t mean it won’t be fantastic. My son is 19 now but when I was expecting him I was single, I had no job and also had a dog to look after. It is hard work but you manage because you have to. It’s great that you have support. Now I have three lovely children and have recently found myself as a single parent again but I’m actually happy now, I have my boys and that’s all I need.

    #39189 Report

    Ninamac19
    Participant

    @lorraine123 thanks for your reply. I guess I’m just scared of doing all this on my own. I’m a nurse and I work long days. I also don’t know how I will walk my dog at night with the baby. It’s due in December which means it will be too cold to take it out at 8/9 at night so my dog can get out. It’s silly things like that, that are worrying me. At the same time, I can’t wait to meet it and be a mum, but I think I’m more anxious than anything

    #39190 Report

    Lorraine123
    Participant

    When I first had my baby I used to put him in a baby sling to walk the dog, it is more difficult as the baby gets older and gets into a routine of set bedtimes. There’s a website called borrow my doggy, where you can link up with people who would like to walk other people’s dogs as they can’t keep one of their own, it might be useful to keep in mind. Whatever the obstacle I’m sure you’ll find a way around it, that’s what mums do!

    #39193 Report

    Gigixmase1718
    Participant

    Hi, I’m new to this

    I’m 23 yrs about 3 months ago split up with the mother of my kids ( but I guess to her its longer than that but not for me) it’s been really hard for me. I just recently found out she is telling someone else she loves them ( which I think is too soon to be telling someone as for me I don’t see no other women but her in my eyes) I’m still being nice to her (I think she doesn’t know that I know what I found out) plus I feel like confronting her but I cant because I don’t want to lose her. she is always like not now or I dont know if we are getting back together (she is like putting barriers in our relationship I feel like it’s always on her time) something else is that she keeps on lying to me from small to big things which hurts me. I’m always there for my kids no matter what, but deep down through everything that’s happened and happening between us i still want to be with her. I love, miss her loads… furthermore when where together she is quite rude and humilates me most of time but yet I’m still good to her. I don’t know what to do… sorry if I dont make sense

    #39215 Report

    Ninamac19
    Participant

    @gigixmase1718 I think its worth thinking about how you feel you should be  treated and how you are being treated. You can still be an active parent in your children’s lives and be separated from their mother. It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship you have with the mother and that will be impacting the kids too. Take care of yourself and remember you don’t deserve to be treated the way she is treating you.

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