The first few weeks

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  • #6488 Report

    SJ
    Participant

    Hi, I’m new to all of this and first post/comment looking for some advice.

    My husband walked out 3 weeks ago, although because of Christmas and our 3 year old, we have seen each other and tried for some pretend normality for his sake for a couple of days.  Now, that is all done and it’s like starting again with the fact that he left. He’s ready to move on, I feel like I’m months behind him and totally lost.

    I don’t even know where to start to try and think of my future as a single parent. I just feel so scared at the prospect. We’d been together for 13 years, pretty much my whole adult life. I’m wondering how you get through the first few weeks (months even?), when everything is so raw and incomprehensible?

    Thanks x

     

    #6499 Report

    BGUK
    Participant

    Hi SJ,

    Sorry to hear this. I am the same. My husband said he wanted a divorce in the beginning of Dec. Since then he has been seeing our daughter at weekends (age 2.6yrs). We haven’t finalised anything yet but this is all very new to me and I still can’t believe this is happening. I too don’t even know where to start and where I will end up as a single mum. Lots to sort out, find a school, find a job, etc. I am very very sad but also angry at him.  I think this is a good start to chat to other ppl in the same boat. Maybe get organised and work out a plan for you and your 3 year old? That will be positive and it will keep you busy? I have chatted to one or two close friends which helps and cried a lot too. Just remember stay strong.

    #6500 Report

    Bowbelle
    Participant
    1. Hi SJ and BGUK

    I know how you feel. Yesterday my partner and I decided to go our separate ways. I am devastated and feeling totally overwhelmed at the moment and the time of year isn’t helping! He seems so cold and detached whilst I am fighting to hold back the tears all the time. I’m asking myself how can someone I once felt so close to feel like a total stranger? There is so much to organise and I just feel so sad. I hope you are both ok, it can certainly feel like a very lonely time!

    #6520 Report

    Nastbury
    Participant

    If you are like me, you will go through many emotions in the first few weeks, and beyond. Since I discovered that my wife was having an affair on 26.11.17, I have been angry (with her and myself), sad for us as a couple, and sad/extremely guilty for our two children (6 and 10).  I’ve done two counselling sessions at Relate (on my own), discovered how amazingly supportive and understanding my friends are (which makes me choke with emotion), and have just joined Gingerbread tonight. Oh, and employed a rotweiler of a solicitor to fix the divorce. The last five weeks have been torrid, but I gain comfort from the hugely positive things in my life.  Keep strong, and don’t bottle things up.

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