The Elephant in the Room

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    Sorry if this turns out to be a rant.  I’m writing this as I’m mentally and physically exhausted and I really don’t know what words are about to come out of me. 

    Well now that I’ve made that clear: Has anyone out there had to deal with a coparent who did not pull their own weight? Were you able to address and solve the issue? If so how did you accomplish that? 

    For more context,  my coparent has a drinking problem.  She goes out to the bar as 4-6 times a week and just expects me to be home to watch my son.  As of this moment my son is having trouble sleeping, he’s awake right now and I’m hiding my phone light under the covers so he won’t see me writing.  I’ve got an 8 hour driving shift tomorrow and desparately need sleep but his mom is nowhere to be found because she’s off somewhere piss drunk right now.  This is a situation that has been repeating itself again and again in the two and a half years that we’ve been parents. She openly admits she has a drinking problem but only WHEN SHE’S DRUNK. Any attempts of mine to address this issue when she’s sober are just met with hostility and anger,  ultimately leaving nothing solved.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

    #45543 Report

    Hi RogerPaul

    Hopefully  it won’t be too long before another parent will share their experience with you as I am sure others will have been in similar situations.  In the meantime please feel free to look up Adfam.  They will be able to other information and advice around your ex partners drinking.  Here are their details:

    ADFAM – They provide information and advice for families affected by addiction.  Using the website you can access a forum and search for groups in your local area.

    I hope they will be of use to you.

    Kind regards, Justine

    #45544 Report



    I completely get where your coming from I am a single mother to twins. Their father was a drug and alcohol abuser, he has left the house after an unfortunate event. I have filled for divorce but he seems to be fighting all my efforts to sort things out. He’s not willing to pull his own weight.

    I have hit every worse situation you can think of. I am completely alone, been made redundant from my job. I do struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    I have tried mediation but that has not helped either. If your partner doesn’t want to get help there’s nothing you can do.

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