Telling children my mum is sick

[Lilypad09Participant]

Hi I’ve just found out my mum has cancer, we don’t know what the prognosis is yet, won’t find out till next Friday and I’m completely heartbroken, my children are at their dads this weekend and haven’t told them yet, how do I tell them without making them scared, I know they will be upset there’s nothing I can do about that, I just don’t know what words to use.

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

It depends how old they are. If under about 8, I wouldn’t tell them. If your mum is on her feet and not hospitalised, why not wait until you know more.

[Lilypad09Participant]

Hi, my children are 14 and 11.

[RamblinjonParticipant]

Hiya, sorry to hear about your mum.

I have been through this situation so totally understand. I’d wait until you find out exactly what is going on, there are many advances in cancer treatment and often it can now be treated so it’s best not to worry them unnecessarily.

If the prognosis isn’t good then honesty is the way to go, your children are old enough to understand the illness and it’s better for them to be prepared not only for the outcome but also for the changes that will happen both because of the illness and the treatments. Your local hospice will have a trained councillor that helps both adults and kids get through this difficult time, they can advise on practical things like how to tell your children and what to expect from telling them.

I hope the prognosis for your mum is good but feel free to pm if you want to chat.

Mark

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

It is very hard. My mum was ill too.

As they are older, will they notice any immediate change? Can you wait to see how your mum responds to treatment?  People do get better.  What does your mum think?

How do you think your children will react? Have they had anyone else be ill?  💐

 

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