Telephone calls during visiting periods (from an abusive ex partner)

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  • #47479 Report


    Hi there,

    I have recently (3 weeks ago) had a court order put into place after a year of fighting to get my children back after my ex took them away and stopped allowing me to see them. They are now back in shared custody and the court advised that the only contact between my ex and myself should be a conatct book.

    However, we are now three weeks back into our new arrangements where the kids stay with me 3 days/2 nights a week – it has been fantastic so far, up until this week where she now would like to call the children every day when they are with me. In court it was agreed, although not officially put into the order, that to ensure no arguments there would be no cross over between houses apart form the book. We see no reason for her to call them in my care, they are safe, happy and do not wish or need to talk to her.  Although I miss my children dearly when they are at their mums, i do not wish to be involved with her life at all, particularly due to her behaviour towards me which has been abusive. When she has rang in the past prior to our current court agreement, we have answered the calls, however if she is not satisfied and would like to talk to the children again, she will call.. maybe 30/40 times leaving multiple answer phone messages demanding unreasonable requests – She will turns up on the doorstep shouting abuse – which is what we do not want the children to witness, therefore that has been why the court have just suggested the contact book. Essentially, we are worried if she starts to ring the children once a day, it will start to esculate into this sort of behaviour again – which myself and more importantly the children, can not be subject to.

    Does anyone have any advice on this subject – I will be ringing the solicitor again next week to see what our next step is but just wanted to see if anyone else had advice on telephone contact in particular – and whether if this behaviour does start arise this weekend, what should we do?

    Thank you!

    #47480 Report


    No need to engage a solicitor as this costs money. As you only have children 2 nights a week i would not see any reason to have their mum ring you up to speak to children unless its an emergency.  Most parents who been through courts either have no phone calls or odd one if children are away for say 7 nights or more which is normally a facetime call/video call at an agreed time. When parents are getting on who are split up then its a lot easier to randomly call or texts about children without any issues.

    So if she tries to ring this weekend dont answer the phone and text after and say its your time with children.  Unless an emergency there is no need to ring.

    Thank you

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