Teenage single dad

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  • #56285 Report

    leonardorossi567
    Participant

    Hi my name’s Leo, I’m 18 and my now ex-girlfriend and I had a son 3 months ago, she left us about a week after she gave birth and I’ve been left to look after Roman on my own with no experience. I’m struggling and was wondering if anyone could give me any parenting tips, would be much appreciated 🙂

    #56286 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    That’s a big one.

    I’m trying to imagine how I would manage if I was in that position and I’m failing somewhat.

    First,I’de just like to say I’m really impressed with what you’re doing bc it’s not the sort of thing one hears about often.I hope you have supportive people around you.Second,that’s rather a broad question.Can you narrow it down a little?

    #56288 Report

    NickyBee
    Participant

    Hi Leo

    Welcome to the forum and well done for asking for help.

    I remember being exhausted when my children were 3 months, so I would say sleep whenever you can. I used to have a nap after lunch when they did!

    Other tips -Start to develop a routine with Roman (for instance bath, bottle, story before bed) and try and find some other parents in your area to do things with (thru Gingerbread or your local health centre).

    Sending warmest wishes to you and Roman

     

     

    #56310 Report

    leonardorossi567
    Participant

    Thank you so much! Getting sleep is hard because I’m looking after Roman and trying to work from home at the same time. I’ll try to find a good routine so I can manage everything better.

    #56311 Report

    leonardorossi567
    Participant

    I’m trying to manage working from home 5 days a week whilst feeding, changing and just keeping Roman happy in general and I’m quite overwhelmed. And I’m trying to do it on my own because I moved to the UK 2 years ago and all my family is back in Italy still so it’s difficult to find someone to look after Roman whilst I just try get some work done. I just came here for some advice to hopefully make my life easier.

    #56318 Report

    Hi Leonardorossi567

    I’m one of the moderators here at Gingerbread and I’m pleased you have found the forum.  The people on here are really supportive and will be able to chat with you about their experiences. Being a new single parent can be overwhelming and isolating at times and the forum users will be able to recognise that.  Do have a look round our website as there is lots of useful information.  I am including a link here for our information page that may be helpful for you.  Hopefully some of this info will be useful. Information | Gingerbread

    We also have friendship groups around the country.  Have a look at our group page to see if there is one near you.  Single parent groups | Gingerbread

    Welcome to Gingerbread, Justine

    #56319 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    I love that you called him Roman and you’re from Italy! 🇮🇪
    Im sorry you’re in this overwhelming and difficult position on your own.Its a lot of responsibility for you.Any routine that works for you and the baby is a good one,so dont feel pressurised to fit in to any ‘rules’that you might read in books etc.As long as he’s fed,clean,bathed and changed for now he will be happy.Babies from tiny already love the sound of your voice and its really good for their intelligence so the more you talk to him the better🙄even if people might overhear and think your potty😯 You could get one of those littke seat things that hang from doorways in a few weeks perhaps to give him a change of scenery,and they are fine to pkay on the floor under a baby gym thing & talk to themselves.Also its easy to forget about fresh air but if you’re strict about getting out each day with him it will be nicer for you both.Do you have adult company and are you doing literally everything alone?!

    #56339 Report

    leonardorossi567
    Participant

    Thank you! I enjoy talking to him a lot and I’m making sure he gets fresh air so I take him on my walk everyday he seems to enjoy it, sometimes he just falls asleep! Because I play football for a living but also still doing school (I am on a scholarship with my team so I still do school until I’m 19) I’m having some time off to look after Roman and so I’m just doing school on the computer so it has made things easier than if I still had to go to training and games. I don’t have any adults around me really no, my friends help me out sometimes but my whole family is in Italy so it’s hard.

    #56343 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    What team?

    #56346 Report

    leonardorossi567
    Participant

    A team called Chester I doubt you’ve heard of them

    #56394 Report

    Bexmelbel2021
    Participant

    I’m so impressed with how your dealing with it all. Have you got a health visitor, they should still be in touch with you.

    From my own experience is, don’t put to much pressure on yourself, just do what NEEDS to be done, the college you do tour studying with should also be able to give you contact numbers for parenting support groups, also this is going to sound horrible, but don’t over trust people with your baby, as unfortunately there is some horrible people about who pray on young single parents.

    But most of all take time for yourself, when he’s sleeping on a night make sure you sleep, or have a bath and watch TV. House work can always wait but don’t let it get to much, so try do a little ever day.

    Take care 🙂

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