I’ve got several children and it’s the 17 yr old (girl) and 18 year old (male) giving me problems. I lost my keyworker job in care sector last month and we’re now in financial hell, I spend most my time worrying and stressed out about money. As if that’s not bad enough these two have become very abusive trying to dominate, intimidate, manipulate and terrorize me. They’re lying all the time and wasting money on drugs, fags, long journeys and alcohol that we just can’t afford. When I try to confront them they think shouting me down will intimidate me in to shutting up. I feel so ganged up on and defeated and they take advantage of my vulnerability because I’m a woman on her own with no friends or family. I don’t even feel able to handle their smugness, arrogance, egotistical attitudes, selfishness, disrespect or sneering and put downs. Whenever I try to reason with them they try gaslighting me or accuse me of bullying/picking on them. I can’t even say a word and feel like I’m constantly walking on egg shells. Obviously there’s a lot more to the story than this outline but is there anyone who has been through anything similar who can share any advice for something they actually tried that works. I’ve looked online but think my situation is well beyond any of the weak suggestions I’ve come across.
I’m sure you’ve tried this but maybe having a sit down and discussing all of the problems, if they realise how serious your concerns are maybe they would make more of an effort? Or would this be impossible? Try talking to them one at a time so that it’s not two against one.
Teenagers can be quite selfish and I think sometimes they just can’t see that other people have problems too and it’s not all about them.
I have a 20 year old son who is autistic and was quite a handful a few years ago but is a lot calmer and cooperative now, I think a lot of it is lack of maturity. Sorry I can’t be more help.
Again, I’m afraid I don’t have anything useful to help but just wanted to say that you will come through this. My eldest now 28….we were at opposite sides to each other through his teens and I had no idea how to cope with it….and after about 18 we started to get on better. It does pass. I’ve now got these delicious years to go through with my 16 yr old daughter, 12 yr old son and 8 yr old daughter! Parenting is never easy is it – keep safe and take care of yourself 🙂 xx
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